Are You A People Pleaser: Warrior Mind Podcast #188
This Warrior Mind Podcast is based on the post “Approval Addiction”
The purpose of this Warrior Mind Podcast is to make you aware of the addiction of being a people pleaser and how it keeps individuals from realizing their true human potential.
We all want approval. We long for admiration, a pat on the back, a nudge or a wink that tells us we have done something right. The odd thing is that approval is a drug. It lures us in with a rush that is fleeting. We start chasing the rush and can lose our dreams and ourselves if we aren’t careful about being a people pleaser.
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Enjoy This Warrior Mind Podcast on the People Pleaser
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If you’re a people pleaser, you often try to be who others want you to be, to agree with them, to fit in. You may not be consciously aware that you are doing this, but there is a part of your psyche that wants to please others in order to avoid reactions that you are afraid of.
People Pleaser Example 1: Joe’s wife tells him she is upset that he isn’t attentive enough to her. Joe immediately feels bad and tries to figure out how to give her what she wants. He never even considers whether or not her demands are reasonable.
He doesn’t ask himself how attentive he actually is, or whether she needs a lot of attention because of her own insecurities. His only thought is: How can I please her? How can I get her to stop being upset with me? He tries to remember to give her more attention, but he hasn’t even figured out what the problem is!
People Pleaser Example 2: When Lauren goes out on a date, her main concern is how much the man likes her. She doesn’t ask herself how much she likes him. She doesn’t just enjoy herself. Her focus is on pleasing him. She tries to figure out what his preferences are and they become hers without her even realizing this.
If she says something that he seems to disagree with, she immediately changes her opinion. If they go to a movie or a restaurant, she finds that she has roughly the same opinion of it as he does. She doesn’t entirely realize that she is trying to please him, it just happens.
People Pleaser Example 3: When a friend of Lauren’s does something that bothers or annoys her; she gets fuzzy and confused or changes the subject. This keeps her from being aware of her annoyance. Sometimes she even manages to convince herself that she feels fine about what her friend did.
These are examples of what a people pleaser looks like. When this pattern is activated, we have a hard time saying No or setting limits. We tend to avoid conflict. We want other people’s approval, and even more importantly, we want to avoid other people’s disapproval. If someone asks us for something, we have a hard time not giving it.
When this pattern is activated in you, you may have difficulty expressing your feelings, desires, or opinions. You may not even know what you want or what you believe because it might be different from someone you want to please. You may end up thinking and feeling what other people are thinking and feeling, because any difference is threatening.
Get started today on learning how to stop being a people pleaser and request your Introductory Consultation by going HERE.
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