Discovering What You Want in Life – 10 Steps to Unlock Your Dreams

Hello! I’m Gregg Swanson. Whether I’m coaching sales professionals, practicing shamanic rituals, or mastering Bujinkan techniques, my focus is on developing mental strength and resilience.

Today, I’ll share strategies to help you overcome your challenges and achieve your goals by looking at what you want in life.

Introduction: Discovering What You Want in Life

It’s funny, isn’t it? That question we all ask ourselves: “What do you want in life?” It sounds simple enough, but if you’re anything like me, the answer can feel like a moving target, shifting with each new season of life. When I first really asked myself what I wanted, I was expecting to pinpoint some goal or achievement, like finding a dream job or finally reaching a big life milestone. But the truth is, what you want in life can be so much deeper than a checkbox on a list.

Now, here’s the thing they don’t tell you about figuring out what you want: it’s not always about finding some mystical answer. It’s about tuning into the power you already have to shape your reality.

And honestly, that’s both freeing and a little scary, right? We’re not just on the ride; we’re the ones at the wheel. Each choice we make, every thought we entertain, and even those subconscious beliefs we’re barely aware of—they’re all sculpting the life we’re living. When you start understanding that you’re already manifesting every single day, it changes the whole game.

Here’s where it gets interesting: the question of “What do you want in life?” isn’t about attaching to things or possessions. It’s about knowing yourself, aligning with what brings you alive, and understanding that you’re the one in charge. It’s about getting to a place where you can consciously create a life that feels authentic to you. And trust me, once you realize that, the journey ahead becomes not just exciting but empowering.

2. Understanding the Science of Manifesting Desires

So, let’s talk about the “how” behind manifesting what you want in life. When I first got into this whole concept, I thought it was just about positive thinking. Like, “If I visualize this enough, it’ll happen.” But here’s the kicker: there’s actual science behind why manifesting works, and it all starts with the mind.

At its core, manifestation is about reprogramming the subconscious, which is wild because so much of what we believe—our default thoughts, those quick reactions—is stuff we picked up without even realizing it. Neuroscience shows that when we actively decide to shift our thinking, we’re rewiring neural pathways. I remember the first time I heard this; it hit me hard. It was like, wait, I can actually shape my reality by choosing what I focus on?

And here’s something else: our brains don’t know the difference between an actual event and a vividly imagined one. That’s why visualization can be so powerful. It’s not just about “seeing” yourself living your dreams; it’s about convincing your mind that this reality is possible. But here’s the thing—you can’t just dabble in it.

Real change comes with consistency. This is where so many people (myself included) get tripped up. I’d try visualizing something once or twice, and when it didn’t instantly come true, I’d think, “Well, guess that doesn’t work.”

It wasn’t until I got intentional—replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones, day in and day out—that I started noticing real shifts. Like rewiring an old house, it takes work and patience. You don’t flip a switch and expect every light to glow perfectly.

But the effort? Totally worth it. When you start aligning your thoughts with what you genuinely want, life starts opening up in ways you didn’t expect. It’s like telling the universe, “I’m ready for this,” and your mind finally gets on board with you.

Let’s keep the momentum going with Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs and Patterns. Here, I’ll discuss how our childhood and early beliefs shape what we think is possible.

3. Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs and Patterns

Ever feel like you’re just replaying the same old story over and over again? I’ve been there. It’s like no matter what you do, you’re stuck in a loop. Here’s what I’ve learned: a lot of those patterns—the ones that make you doubt yourself or hold back—were probably set way back when you were a kid. And they can stick around, shaping what you think you deserve and how you see the world.

Our brains are funny that way. By the time we’re around ten years old, we’ve already absorbed a ton of beliefs about ourselves and the world. Maybe it’s stuff you heard from family or just experiences that left a mark.

For me, I carried this nagging belief that I was never “enough.” It’s not like I thought about it consciously, but it was there in how I’d settle for less or hesitate to take risks.

The thing is, these beliefs aren’t just thoughts—they’re filters. They’re the reason you might shy away from opportunities or relationships because, deep down, you think you don’t deserve them. And getting out of this loop? It takes courage.

It takes a hard look at the beliefs you’ve been carrying and the willingness to rewrite the story. One thing I found super helpful was journaling about specific patterns I noticed. If I kept making the same mistake or feeling the same way, I’d ask myself, “What’s the belief behind this?”

Breaking free doesn’t happen overnight, and yeah, it can be uncomfortable. But the moment you start noticing your own patterns and questioning them, you’ve taken the first step. It’s like opening a window in a room you didn’t realize was stuffy. Little by little, you start letting fresh air in. And that’s when you start living the answer to “What do you want in life?” because you’re no longer tied to what you were told to want.

Now on to Embracing the Neutrality of the Universe, a concept that can be both freeing and a little shocking to our sense of control. Here we’ll explore how understanding this neutrality can actually help us feel more empowered.

4. Embracing the Neutrality of the Universe

Here’s a big one to wrap your head around: the universe is neutral. Yeah, I know—it’s kind of a shock. When I first heard that, I was like, “Wait, doesn’t my good behavior or positive attitude make a difference?”

The answer, as it turns out, is both yes and no. The universe doesn’t play favorites, and it doesn’t reward or punish based on some cosmic scorecard. Instead, it just responds to energy—your energy.

For me, realizing this was like getting permission to stop worrying about doing everything “right.” You know how sometimes we hold back because we’re afraid of what might happen?

The universe isn’t sitting there keeping tabs on our every move. When you realize it’s neutral, you start to see that what matters is the energy you’re putting out. Positive, negative, indifferent—the universe doesn’t label it. It simply gives you back more of what you’re projecting.

And this is where “What do you want in life?” becomes more meaningful. Because if the universe is neutral, then it’s up to us to decide what we focus on. If you’re putting out energy that says, “I’m capable, I’m open, I’m ready for good things,” that’s what you’ll start to attract. But if you’re locked in negativity or self-doubt, well, that’s what the universe mirrors back.

It’s freeing to know this because it puts the ball back in our court. No one’s judging, no one’s making it hard on purpose—it’s all about the energy we bring. And once I accepted this, I found it easier to take risks. The universe isn’t out to get us; it’s just waiting for us to decide what kind of life we’re here to live.

5. The Power of Living in the Present Moment

Here’s something no one warned me about: the more I focused on the future, the less I enjoyed the present. It’s ironic because so much of manifesting what you want in life relies on being right here, right now. Sounds simple, but have you ever tried to sit still and actually focus on the moment? I’ll be honest—it’s tougher than it sounds, especially when there’s this constant voice saying, “What’s next?”

When I first started paying attention to living in the present, it felt like trying to catch a butterfly. My mind would wander to things I hadn’t done, or to some goal I was still chasing. But I noticed something interesting.

When I’d really focus, even for a few minutes, my whole outlook changed. I wasn’t stressed about what hadn’t happened yet; I was actually able to enjoy what was right in front of me. And that’s the magic of it—being present is like giving yourself permission to be enough, right now, without needing more.

The funny thing about presence is it’s like a magnet for good things. When you’re truly in the moment, people notice. You’re more attentive, your energy shifts, and suddenly, you’re in sync with the opportunities around you. Plus, being present doesn’t mean you stop caring about the future; it just means you stop letting it run the show.

I started practicing little habits like focusing on my breath when I felt anxious or doing things that grounded me, like going for a walk. It’s amazing how quickly those small acts brought me back to center.

So, if you’re on a mission to figure out “What do you want in life?” start by asking, “What do I want right now?” This simple shift can keep you from being stuck in endless planning and help you start actually living the life you want.

Moving forward, let’s look at Aligning Your Goals with Genuine Happiness and explore how understanding true happiness can reshape our desires.

6. Aligning Your Goals with Genuine Happiness

Here’s a trap I fell into for years: I kept chasing things I thought would make me happy, only to feel empty when I finally got them. Ever been there? It’s easy to think that if we achieve just one more thing or reach a certain goal, that’s when we’ll finally feel happy. But here’s the thing about happiness—it’s sneaky. It doesn’t always come from the big wins; sometimes it’s in the smallest moments.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to dig deeper into why I wanted certain things. Was it because I genuinely desired them, or was I hoping they’d make me look successful or feel worthy? This is where that question “What do you want in life?” takes on a whole new meaning.

When I started asking myself what I really wanted—what would actually bring me joy—I realized it wasn’t always about status or money. It was about experiences, connection, and feeling like I was making a difference.

This shift in focus didn’t mean I gave up on achieving goals. It just meant I was aligning those goals with what made me feel alive. And let me tell you, that’s a game-changer. When your goals are rooted in real happiness rather than what you “should” be doing, you naturally feel more fulfilled. And that fulfillment?

It ripples out into everything else you do, bringing more clarity, purpose, and joy into your life.

So, when you think about what you want, don’t just ask what will make you look successful. Ask what will make you feel happy. That’s the kind of happiness that sticks around.

Let’s keep going with Moving Beyond Materialism to Find Meaning and how looking beyond the “stuff” can open us up to deeper purpose.

7. Moving Beyond Materialism to Find Meaning

I’m just going to say it—sometimes we get so wrapped up in material things that we forget what really matters. We live in a world that tells us we need the latest gadget, the nicest car, or the biggest house to be happy.

But the truth? That stuff can’t fill you up. I learned this the hard way, thinking that more “stuff” would lead to more satisfaction. Spoiler: it didn’t.

When I started focusing on what I genuinely wanted out of life, I realized I craved meaning, not things. Sure, material comforts are nice, but they don’t bring that deep sense of fulfillment that comes from knowing you’re doing something worthwhile. What I found is that the real magic happens when you start asking bigger questions, like “How do I want to make a difference?” or “What kind of legacy do I want to leave?”

For me, it was about shifting my perspective from “What can I get?” to “What can I give?” And honestly, once I made that shift, life felt a whole lot richer. The funny thing is, when you stop chasing things just for the sake of having them, the right stuff often finds its way to you anyway. It’s like the universe starts working with you, helping you get what you truly need.

So, if you’re searching for meaning, ask yourself if what you’re chasing will bring real value to your life. Sometimes, the answer is simpler than we think.

Next up is Building Self-Compassion for Lasting Change, where we’ll discuss how kindness to yourself fuels real transformation.

8. Building Self-Compassion for Lasting Change

You know that voice in your head? The one that’s quick to point out your flaws, remind you of your mistakes, and tell you why you’re not good enough? Yep, I know it too. For years, I thought self-criticism was just part of striving for success.

But let me tell you, self-compassion changes everything. The moment I stopped tearing myself down and started treating myself like I would a good friend, everything shifted.

Self-compassion isn’t just about being nice to yourself; it’s about giving yourself room to grow without judgment. When you’re harsh on yourself, you’re creating walls. But when you practice self-compassion, you’re breaking down those walls, allowing for real change to happen.

I started small—celebrating little wins, acknowledging my efforts, and forgiving myself when I messed up. Over time, those small acts of kindness added up, making me feel more grounded and resilient.

Here’s the thing: self-compassion is essential if you want to create lasting change. You can’t punish yourself into being better. But when you’re kind to yourself, when you actually believe you deserve good things, that’s when the real transformation happens. You start setting healthier goals, taking better risks, and living closer to your true self.

So, if you’re looking to change, start by being your own biggest supporter. Trust me, the impact is powerful.

On to Receiving What You Need vs. What You Want in Life, a lesson in embracing unexpected blessings.

9. Receiving What You Need vs. What You Want in Life

Here’s a funny thing about life—it rarely gives us exactly what we ask for. Sometimes, what we get instead is what we actually need, even if it’s not what we thought we wanted. For the longest time, I would set my sights on one specific outcome, and when it didn’t happen,

I’d feel crushed. But looking back, I can see that life was guiding me towards something better, something I couldn’t have planned.

There’s this balance to manifesting: you set intentions, but you stay open to possibilities. I remember when I was working toward a promotion that I thought would be a game-changer.

But life had other plans, and that job didn’t come through. At the time, I was disappointed, but it led me to a different path, one that ultimately aligned with what I truly wanted—freedom, creativity, and impact. It was the universe’s way of saying, “Trust me, I’ve got you.”

When you focus too tightly on a specific outcome, you might miss the unexpected opportunities along the way. And sometimes, those surprises are exactly what you need to fulfill your true purpose. The next time life doesn’t go as planned, consider that maybe, just maybe, you’re being guided to something even better.

And finally, let’s wrap it up with The Impact of Kindness and Compassion on Manifestation, tying everything back to creating a life filled with purpose.

10. The Impact of Kindness and Compassion on Manifestation

Here’s the truth: kindness and compassion aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re the foundation for manifesting a life of meaning. When you approach life with a sense of compassion—both for yourself and others—you attract more of what you want. It’s like sending out a message to the universe that says, “I’m ready for good things, and I’m here to create them too.”

One of the biggest lessons I learned is that small acts of kindness go a long way, not just in how they affect others, but in how they shift our own perspective. A simple smile, a word of encouragement, or even just taking a moment to listen can make a huge difference. When you build this habit, you’re putting out the energy you want to see in the world, and that energy comes back tenfold.

Kindness doesn’t mean you’ll get everything you want instantly, but it sets the stage for a life filled with purpose, connection, and yes, joy. So if you’re working on manifesting what you want in life, start by showing kindness, and watch as life reflects that energy right back to you.

Conclusion

By breaking free from limiting patterns, aligning with genuine happiness, and staying present, you open yourself up to a life that feels fulfilling and authentic. Trust the process, stay open to life’s surprises, and remember: you are always in the driver’s seat of your own destiny.