Trust vs. Doubt Part II

In Part I of Trust vs. Doubt we discussed

• The Source of Doubt
• The Key too Trust: Perfection
• How to Realize Perfection
• The Antagonist

Now we’re going to go a little deeper…

Again I’d like to thank my coaching school, International Coaching Academy for help and inspiration on this subject. 

Perfection vs. Problem

Have you ever had a situation that looked like a disaster, but in the end, turned out to be very positive?

In fact, one might even say Perfect?

The concept of human perfection and problem is an illusion. Neither is real but an illusion because both don’t stand the truth of time: They don’t last forever but are temporary elements of how we simply look at things. Since they are illusions they are not truth but rather concepts with which we choose to perceive our life. Both play a key role in our perspectives.

And it takes mental strength to work with our perspective!

You probably know people who normally live with a perspective of a problem, and if you are fortunate, you will get to know people who live with a perspective of perfection. Life tends to be easier on this side of the “coin.”

If you had a choice between living your entire life in Perfection, versus your entire life in

Problem, which would you choose?

The answer may seem obvious, and depending on your personal development journey, when you dig deeper it just might not be.

Viewing Perfection as Perfect

“The world either is perfect or it isn’t; it all depends on your own perspective.”

To understand that everything is just the way it is suppose to be – and that it is perfect – is a difficult concept to grasp at first and it does take an element of mental strength. However, if we begin to realize that our lives are a combination of every choice we have ever made – and in that respect we have created our lives to be just the way they are – we begin to see the perfection in it.

At some level, if we didn’t want they way we are living…we would change it.  Since we aren’t changing it, it must be perfect.   Even then, when we do begin to change our life, we are transforming from one perfect situation to another one…this takes a warrior mindset to comprehend.

We are also in this existence of life to learn certain lessons, and every experience we go through, teaches us a lesson, this is the way of the warrior. We can see that life is perfect because we are learning what we need to at any given time. Life itself brings about the perfection in us all.

Is this true: Life is perfect?

No

Nor is it true that it is sad, wrong, or dramatic.

Our perception makes it so. We interpret events depending on how we wish to do so. What would your life be like if you decided to look for the Perfection in everything, and everyone, instead of finding problems or lack? How would your personal performance improve?

The Paradox of Wanting a Coach

We live in a problem-oriented society.

Marketing is based on this.

It’s all about fixing problems.

Finding solutions to problems.

In general, the media seems to report about 85 percent of problems and drama in the world and only 15 percent of good news. Problems are interesting: we learn from them, get energized when focusing and tackling them; we complain, or become surprised by them; and we try to change, solve them, and sometimes cry over them.

Indeed, many people gravitate towards coaching to fix a problem. Unfortunately, people sometimes wait too long to fix a problem. They wait until life becomes so bad, difficult and painful that they decide to finally get motivated to improve upon it.

Why wait when it can be done now?

Here are some advantages in seeing that the perfection of life is perfect instead of trying to fix it:

• It takes the pressure off
• It can make it more fun
• It can lead to a much deeper issue or situation
• You will enjoy and appreciate life more
• It can save time. (There may really not be anything to fix but just a shift in perspective is all that is needed.)

Remember, if a coach finds him/herself agreeing with you that you indeed have “problems”; and then focuses on what you are missing (instead on what you have), this does not help you move forward.

Look towards the goal, the perfect goal and reach it through coaching!

Becoming Practical

How does one move from problem into perfection?

Here are some questions to help create a shift in perspective:

• Take a step back for a moment…What advantages can you see around this situation?
• Is there someone you know who is really positive? What are some advantages they might see in this particular situation?
• “What is the lesson to be learned from this?
• Our mind is very clever at creating situations. If your subconscious created this situation, why might it have done it? What’s a possible pay-off here?
• What in this situation can you be grateful for?

Contemplation Exercises

1. Find the Perfection in 10 things. Use the above questions on yourself to help you move forward. If you difficulty in this use a friend, coach or family member for assistance in overcoming any resistance you may have on something…also, right it down and contemplate where the resistance is coming from. 

2. Call three friends you know who have a problem. Share with them the concept of “perfection vs. problem.” Ask them if they would like to participate in this exercise.  Who knows, you and them just might get some freedom from personal issues.

A Special Tip

People dislike feeling bored. They love and sometimes crave for some kind of motion in their lives. But sometimes a “down motion” is easier for them to express than an “up motion.” A “down motion’ is when anger, drama and being upset at someone takes place.

Whereas an “up motion,” is a feeling of joy, peace and love.

Human behavior is peculiar sometimes when people are willing to start a fight to avoid boredom. This kind of “small war” may even become larger if we aren’t careful.

Are wars created out of boredom because there wasn’t better thinking?

Often, the Perfection of a situation can be found in the way it eliminates boredom and instead gives us motion.

Respect the process it takes to reach the goal “But wait!” you cry. Does this mean I should lie down and accept everything in life?

Not try to change anything?

Not try to find a cure to disease?

Not try to increase my income?

Should I tell my friends to accept everything in their life?

How can I accept everything, appreciate everything in life, and at the same time produce extraordinary results?

And at the same time change things around?

Well, it’s actually possible to do both: First, see the beauty and Perfection in what is really happening. You will know you are there when you can “be” with what is happening.

Secondly, create a vision of how your life really could be and make a commitment to reach that vision. (Note: The power of action comes about in becoming excited over the possibility of how life could be BETTER if action took place right now.)

A word of caution: If you slide your thinking and focus just on the result alone, your vision will then get hooked into “getting the result” and not accepting the process. Watch yourself from thinking: “I must have this, or things will become really bad for me.” If this happens, trying to reach the vision will become less fun and fulfilling for you.

Remember, the process is as important as reaching the goal and you can have fun doing so.

Ask yourself – “Am I trying to fix something I believe is a bad situation?” or “Am I able to appreciate what this is, and at the same time playing the game to have more?” Again, change your perspective so things don’t look so negative but rather positive, possible and obtainable.

An easier step: Gratitude vs. Complaining

“You are always either expressing gratitude or complaining. Which is it right now?”

Many people find it hard to see life as Perfect, especially when we have been conditioned to complain about everything. Complaining can become a bad habit and need quick fixing. Gratitude, on the other hand, is always welcoming, fresh and helps open vision.

Some perspectives you may want to work with are with the “effects” of a perspective, such as Trust vs. Doubt. The effects of trusting bring us joy, freedom, happiness and gratitude. Where by the effects of doubt bring fear, insecurity, concern and complaint.  Sometimes extreme perspectives help us see what we really do not understand.

Depending upon our own perspective, we are either complaining or being grateful for something, or someone. We are always in one state of expression or the other. When you are “in Perfection,” gratitude is the natural outcome. When you are “in a Problem,” complaining is the outcome.

One of these expressions pushes people away, while the other attracts them. One has a very negative energy, while the other tends to bring fulfillment. One of them gives personal empowerment and the other complete disempowerment.  If you are constantly complaining, you’ll feel drained and eventually alone.  

To stop this, shift your perspective from complaining to gratitude. If you seem to resist doing this, then ask yourself “What do they get out of complaining? Does it bring me solutions or not?”

It is always more empowering to focus more on the expression of gratitude rather then complaint; this will shift your perspective. Especially when it seems you are stuck in a “negative” perspective.

Here are some more questions to help you shift your perspective:

• “It’s a little hard to see how breaking a leg right now can be Perfect; and I’m hearing a lot of complaining energy in your voice. Would you be willing to break out of that and start looking at what can be done?”
• “Great, so what is there to be grateful for in this case?”
• “Do you know how often you are complaining?”
• “What are the advantages of this situation?”

Trust vs. Concern

“Everything will work out in the end. Meanwhile, there are things I can do.”

When we realize or remember that everything is here to be experienced – that every thing has Perfection inherent in providence – we can live in a space of Trust. “Everything will work out, it always does.”

Some people are able to express Trust with no reason at all, or with “blind faith.” Others are able to do so by realizing that no matter how things work out, it will be alright in the end. The result will be good somehow; there will be Perfection in there somewhere.

To be in a state of worry or constant concern conditions our thinking to “look for the bad” rather than what potentially is good.

When we shift our perspective from Doubt, or Concern into Trust and Gratitude, often complaining stops and our lives rise above the ground level and open up to opportunities that only more good can bring us.  

Ask yourself…Can life be perfect?

If you answer “No”

Why not?

Exercises:

• List 20 things you are complaining about in your life (even if you’re not complaining out loud). Genuinely shift yourself from Complaining into Gratitude on three of these.
• Try this exercise with at least one friend, collogue or family member who complains often. Now try it on one friend, collogue or family member who complains very little.

I’d really enjoy hearing your thoughts on this in the comment section below.