Sticking vs. Quitting

Here we are, well into May…4 months since the New Year, and how many of you have dropped or given up on your goals? 

That is, if you had the courage to set them.

Most people don’t have to guts the set goals because they know deep inside they won’t achieve them.  So instead of looking at the cause of this…the reason why, they simply don’t step up to the plate and make any goals.

Goal setting has become so overused this days that to takes a certain amount of nerve TO set goals.

This post is about those brave souls that have set goals and have not stuck with them.  To help them become aware of importance and priority of a goal and the mental resistance that will be encountered in obtaining it.  Quit the unimportant stuff…stick with the important stuff…know the difference and have the guts to do one or the other.

I’d set the foundation with some definitions:

Sticking: The conscious awareness of the mental resistance as one enters the “quitting zone.”  Then using mental strength, moves through this resistance towards a self prioritized SMART goal and achieves it.

Quitting: The unconscious reaction to mental resistance as one moves towards their goal and hits the “quitting zone” and gives up.

There’s an old saying ‘winners don’t quit, and quitters don’t win.’  

Every new goal starts out exciting and fun. Then as time progress it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point where it gets really hard and the excitement and fun is gone.

When the fun and excitement are gone people will then get easily distracted, procrastinating and asking if the goal is even worth the hassle. They are most likely in the “quitting zone” or as Seth Godin describe it as “The Dip.”  The Dip is a temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing. Or it also could be a dead end, which will never get better, no matter how hard you try.

Achieving goals often requires a person to quit fast, quit often, and quit without guilt until they commit to beating the right Dip for the right reasons. In fact, successful goal achievers seek out the Dip. They realize that the bigger the barrier, the bigger the reward for getting past it.

Those that don’t achieve their goals on the other hand, fall into two basic traps. They fail to stick out the Dip, they get to the moment of truth and then give up, or they never even find the right Dip for the right reason to conquer.

This model will assist people in achieving their goals and sharpen their ability to determine if the goal is “the right goal” and to recognize and escapes dead ends quickly.  Using this method will also let the client stay focused and motivated when it really counts.

Applying the Model:

There are a few key factors when using the model.

• Determine the importance or priority of the goal.  If the goal feels like to it ‘would be nice’ to obtain, the probability of success if minimal.  However if the goal has a burning desire behind it, then success is more likely.  The key again here is to discern the difference between the two.
• Decide under what circumstance you are willing to quite, write is down, then stick to it.  If there is no intention on reaching the goal, quite before you begin. Remember, quitting is not the same as failing, and there is no failure, only feedback. 

Seven excuses for quitting

1. Run out of time
2. Run out of money
3. Get scared
4. Not serious
5. Lose interest or enthusiasm
6. Focus on short term instead of long term and quite when the short term gets too hard
7. Pick the wrong goal 

Three questions to ask before quitting

1. Am I panicking?
2. Who am I trying to impress?
3. What sort of measurable progress am I making?

• Once the goal priority is established and you are determined to see it through, expect and look forward to the Dip.  This is where mental strength and coaching are essential.  As you dance more and more in the Dip and breakthrough the other side, your confidence will develop.  So, the more you succeed the more you grow, the more you grow the bigger the Dip you can handle and the more “success” you will achieve.

 Tools:         

To help resolve if the selected goal has enough “juice” two tools can be used.  The first is simply a question:

Tool #1: “Why put your energy into this goal and not something else?”

After asking the question…listen.  Listen to the tone, tempo, energy, etc of the response, and then follow-up as required.

The other tool is a comparison chart:

Tool #2:

Goal Priority Assessment Matrix

Step 1. Fill in your top 5 Goals – No need to prioritize them

Goal #1 ______________________________

Goal #2 ______________________________

Goal #3 ______________________________

Goal #4 ______________________________

Goal #5 ______________________________

Step 2. Using the numbers from the list above, compare each goal to every other goal. In each line in the columns below circle the number of the goal that is more important to you at this time.

A  vs.  B 

1          2         

1          3         

1          4

1          5         

2          3         

2          4

2          5         

3          4         

3          5         

4          5

Step 3. Now count the number of times each number is circled and enter that number beside the Goal below.

Goal #1 ______________________________

Goal #2 ______________________________

Goal #3 ______________________________

Goal #4 ______________________________

Goal #5 ______________________________

Step 4. Now re-list your Goals in order of priority based on the number of circles. If any of your Goals have the same number of circles, go back to the grid above and find the box where you compared them. The number you circled in that box is the higher ranking Goal.

Goal #1 ______________________________

Goal #2 ______________________________

Goal #3 ______________________________

Goal #4 ______________________________

Goal #5 ______________________________

Step 5. Now list just the top three Goals.

Goal #1 ______________________________

Goal #2 ______________________________

Goal #3 ______________________________

Step 6. Do an intuitive body/mind/spirit check in. Do the Goals listed feel right? How do you feel when you claim these three Goals? Your intuition is your final test. If it feels right, go with it. On the back of this sheet write your top three Core Personal Goals in big bold letters.

My Top Three Personal Goals Are:

1. _______________________________

2. _______________________________

3. _______________________________

Additional Questions:

1. Is this a Dip or a dead end?
2. Is this goal really important to me?
3. Why do I want this?
4. What will do, who will I be when I achieve this?
5. What part of my life do I want to keep the same?
6. If this is a dead end, can it be changed into a Dip?
7. Is my persistence going to pay off in the long run?
8. If I quite this goal will it increase my ability to achieve a different goal?
9. Can this goal be chunked down for better success?
10. Why put your energy into this goal and not something else?

Please let me know your thoughts on this below and if your results after doing the exercise.