Warrior Mind Podcast – Episode #34 – Emotions

This podcast is based on Mental Strength Tip #3

Objective of this Warrior Mind Podcast

To help you realize that some of your thought processes, habits, philosophies and behaviors are unsupportive and hampering your level of success, fulfillment and happiness.

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What does it mean to you to “grow up” emotionally and what would you have to do to move to the next level of psychological charity?

Often in the heat of a situation we revert back to the emotions we know best.  Sure we try to hide them behind a façade, but the bottom line is often when under pressure we let our emotions get the best of us.  We used phrases like “all the time”, “every time” “you always” when we get upset.  These universal qualifiers are the same a child uses.

Thinking back to some of your most recent situations were you “lost it” consider the Big Question and journal your responses or share it in the comments below.

Even the words we use to describe a situation are often exaggerated, words like – this is horrible, I’m so angry, how horrific, as well as the expressions when we see/hear something  – WOW!! Oh my God!  I’m stunned!

Our words don’t describe a situation…they create it.

What would happen if you didn’t label your emotions and only observed them…felt them…acknowledged them?  Refer to the feeling exercise in a previous podcast.

There has been an emphasis on Emotional Intelligence – Emotional intelligence (EI) is an ability, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.

Various models and definitions have been proposed of which the ability and trait EI models are the most widely accepted in the scientific literature. Criticisms have centered on whether the construct is a real intelligence and whether it has incremental validity over IQ and the Big Five personality dimensions.

The Big five factors in Emotional Intelligence:  are openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism (OCEAN, or CANOE if rearranged).

The Big Five factors and their constituent traits can be summarized as:

• Openness – (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience.
• Conscientiousness – (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless). A tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement; planned rather than spontaneous behavior.
• Extraversion – (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved). Energy, positive emotions, urgency, and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others.
• Agreeableness – (friendly/compassionate vs. cold/unkind). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others.
• Neuroticism – (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident). A tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, or vulnerability.

Openness to experience

Openness is a general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and variety of experience. The trait distinguishes imaginative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more creative and more aware of their feelings. They are more likely to hold unconventional beliefs.

People with low scores on openness tend to have more conventional, traditional interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion or even view these endeavors as uninteresting.

Sample openness items

• I have a rich vocabulary.
• I have a vivid imagination.
• I have excellent ideas.
• I spend time reflecting on things.
• I use difficult words.
• I am not interested in abstractions. (reversed)
• I do not have a good imagination. (reversed)
• I have difficulty understanding abstract ideas. (reversed)

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement against measures or outside expectations. The trait shows a preference for planned rather than spontaneous behavior. It influences the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses.

Sample conscientiousness items

• I am always prepared.
• I am exacting in my work.
• I follow a schedule.
• I like order.
• I pay attention to details.
• I leave my belongings around. (reversed)
• I make a mess of things. (reversed)
• I often forget to put things back in their proper place. (reversed)
• I shirk my duties. (reversed)

Extraversion

(Extraversion and introversion)

Extraversion is characterized by positive emotions, surgency, and the tendency to seek out stimulation and the company of others. The trait is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, and are often perceived as full of energy. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented individuals who are likely to say “Yes!” or “Let’s go!” to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the social exuberance and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to seem quiet, low-key, deliberate, and less involved in the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression. Introverts simply need less stimulation than extraverts and more time alone. They may be very active and energetic, simply not socially.

Sample extraversion items

• I am the life of the party.
• I don’t mind being the center of attention.
• I feel comfortable around people.
• I start conversations.
• I talk to a lot of different people at parties.
• I am quiet around strangers. (reversed)
• I don’t like to draw attention to myself. (reversed)
• I don’t talk a lot. (reversed)
• I have little to say. (reversed)

Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. The trait reflects individual differences in general concern for social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are generally considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others’ well-being, and are less likely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others’ motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Sample agreeableness items

• I am interested in people.
• I feel others’ feelings.
• I have a soft heart.
• I make people feel at ease.
• I sympathize with others’ feelings.
• I take time out for others.
• I am not interested in other people’s problems. (reversed)
• I am not really interested in others. (reversed)
• I feel little concern for others. (reversed)
• I insult people. (reversed)
• I like being isolated. (reversed)

Neuroticism

Neuroticism is the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. It is sometimes called emotional instability. Those who score high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive and vulnerable to stress. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish the ability of a person scoring high on neuroticism to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings.

Sample neuroticism items

• I am easily disturbed.
• I change my mood a lot.
• I get irritated easily.
• I get stressed out easily.
• I get upset easily.
• I have frequent mood swings.
• I often feel blue.
• I worry about things.
• I am relaxed most of the time. (reversed)
• I seldom feel blue. (reversed)

Coaching Mental Strength

My goal here is to increase your level of awareness as relates to your emotional “maturity” and to recognize supportive and unsupportive responses.  Again I would ask you go through all the questions and keep this concept in mind when you answer them and to keep this awareness on a regular basis.  After a while this will become a part of your everyday analysis

Final Thought

The average person does not have the mental strength to respond to adversity with a warrior mindset.  The idea presented here of “growing up” is easy to understand and a little in-your-face.  The bluntness of the expression is to quickly gain your attention.

The key is…how will you respond?

Are you ready for the task for developing mental and emotional strength or you will deny this opportunity for personal development and quickly discount this post by expressing “BS!”?

If you’d like some assistance with the development of your mental and emotional strength request your Introductory Consolation

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Related articles

• Warrior Mind Podcast – Episode #27 (warriormindcoach.com)
• Warrior Mind Podcast Episode #25 (warriormindcoach.com)
• Warrior Mind Podcast – Episode 26 – Vision Quest (warriormindcoach.com)
• Warrior Mind Podcast Episode #24 – Values (warriormindcoach.com)
• Warrior Mind Podcast #30 – What is Your Purpose and How to Find it (warriormindcoach.com)

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