The Lost Art of Rites of Passage

In traditional Native American cultures, the way to achieve maximum human potential is directed by the gods. Growth from childhood to adulthood, from ignorance to wisdom, from irresponsibility to responsibility, from arrogance to humility, from fragmentation to wholeness requires the aid of supernaturals.

For most tribes, the Creator established, in the beginning, certain rituals or rites of passage that would aid ‘man’ in comprehending the underlying harmony of the universe and in finally assuming his/her place in it.

By means of these ceremonies, frequently representative of the struggles and discoveries of members of the divine family, holy men and shamans, who understand the divine will instruct the initiate, often by having him/her assume the identity of one of the characters in the stories of creation. As the initiate re-enacts the sacred drama, he is endowed with the knowledge and power possessed by the gods.

The initiate becomes one who knows.

Initiation is Passage to Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Maturing

Rites of passage or “adolescent initiation rites” mark the beginning of adulthood in all aspects of the initiates’ life. Other than recognition of sexual maturity, rites of passage symbolize status of change to adulthood.

Such rites mark the person’s incorporation into the larger society and the change from a learner into a teacher of cultural norms and values.

There are three rituals that together manifest the energy of growth into adulthood.

The first might be a ritual, at age nine or ten, which says, ‘You are no longer a child. You are a maiden/Warrior/Youth and you begin the path that will take you to adulthood.’

The second ritual, at a girl’s first menstruation and some obvious sign of physical maturity in boys, would say, ‘You have now crossed into young adulthood. You are a young woman/young man now, and can accept some rights and responsibilities.’

Finally, we could close the circle of adolescence with a third ritual – one of separation, which says ‘Now you are a man/woman and though the circle of your life will always include energy from the one you have shared with your family, it is time to create your own circle.’

Why Rites of Passage?

The difference between a person with a vision who wants to make a positive mark on his world and one who is aimless with no hope for the future is immense. The aim of Rites of Passage is to bring out the potential in young men/women and have them full of inspiration as they look to the future.

Consider your own early teenage years. Did you feel comfortable in your body? Were you inspired about your future? Was there someone there to answer all your deepest questions? Did you feel at ease with members of the opposite sex? Or were you like me and the vast majority of people who struggled through those years battling a mixture of loneliness, confusion, depression and sheer frustration.

Did you also pray for the time when it would all end and you would finally grow up, feel like an adult and start living the life you’d dreamed of with all that other stuff left far behind in your past? And by the way, has it happened yet?

Modern Western society is in crisis, a crisis of spirit and a crisis of identity. Sociologists, ethnographers, artists, and religious leaders are making very disquieting observations.

The prevalence in society of violence, sexual promiscuity and perversions, suicide, and of the dissolution of family life alarms us all. And these problems are not confined to “others out there” in the world.

That these same problems exist in the religious sector is increasingly obvious.

Many causes for this crisis have been assigned by critics of modern society. Industrialization, technology, television, and the decline in moral values are only some of the causes cited. I would like to offer another cause. It is my belief that we have become an asymbolic society, and, as a result, we do not understand the power of our own rites of passage or the power of mythology.

I also believe that we have lost one of the most powerful rites of passage from our own collection of rituals. According to cultural psychologist Rollo May, the preoccupation with self that is so characteristic of our time comes because human beings have cut themselves adrift from the basic, underlying sacred myths that give definition to what it means to be human.

May claims that the reason for the popularity of psychology today is that it is all that remains for coping with the problems facing modern man. From “the myth of an afterlife to the more modern beliefs in the virtues of family and state, the myths and symbols that once drained off anxiety, assuaged guilt feelings, comforted people, and gave them strength to face the problems of life have lost their vitality.”

Why did all indigenous societies and communities place so much emphasis on Rites of Passage?

It was recognized that the stages of life often meant great changes in the psyche of the individual and the marking of these points of change with a ritual or ceremony was in order to facilitate this. Birth, marriage and death were obvious times but there were many others that we now ignore in modern Western society.

Initiation of boys was performed throughout the world and of all the Rites of Passage this was the one that often took the most effort and energy. It was recognized that the future of the community depended upon having healthy men as opposed to overgrown boys.

The shift from boy to man was seen as being so fundamentally important that the boys were removed from the rest of the community and taken away not to return until they were on the pathway to manhood.

The shift from boy to man psychology is not one that occurs naturally, just look around. The difference in the two is so fundamental that a significant event is required for this to happen.

It is the role of the elders within the community to create such an event or there is a risk that boy psychology will persist into adulthood.  However, if our “elders” are only grownup boys, who’s left to teach and help with the transition from boy to man?

Boy Psychology vs. Healthy Man Psychology

Boy Psychology

• I seek acknowledgement
• I want it all for me.
• Power is for my benefit
• I am the center of the universe
• I believe I am immortal
• I take no responsibility for my actions
• I want a mother

Healthy Man Psychology

• I seek that which I believe in
• I share with my community
• Power is for the good of all
• I am just part of the universe
• I know I am mortal
• I take full responsibility for my actions
• I want a relationship with a woman

Of particular interest is that there are cross-cultural commonalities to the processes used in different parts of the world:

Boys were removed from the community. The relationship of boy and mother with the boy as an infant finished and a new one based on respect began. The history and ways of the community were passed on through song, story and dance. An event was crafted that showed the boy his mortality.

The return of the boy as a young man to the community was celebrated. Afterwards the elder men in the community watched over, supported and if necessary disciplined the young man.

What happens if we don’t create Rites of Passage for our youth?

Do you know of any men who, despite being adults, still function on the model of boy psychology described above?

Imagine the frustration and internal stress of a man still continually seeking acknowledgement and power, wanting to be number one all the time, thinking he is the centre of the universe, believing he will live forever, taking no responsibility for his actions and then on top of that looking for a woman who will mother him?

It is a disastrous combination and one that often leads to either drugs or alcohol to numb out unhappy states of mind or the setting up of artificial environments at work or in relationships to create a false sense of success.

Put simply, a man cannot lead a healthy and fulfilling life if he is still functioning at the level of boy psychology and his community will also suffer, as he will not provide a positive contribution.

There is a strong belief that much of the risk-taking behavior displayed by teenage boys is in fact their attempts at self-initiation. Fast cars, binge drinking, fighting in the street and taking drugs are just a few examples of ways that boys try to prove their manliness. Unfortunately the results can be disastrous and have long-term consequences.

Creating Modern Rites of Passage

A Rite of Passage is a marking of the passing of a particular phase of life.  Their creation requires first recognition of the old and new phase and then some way to symbolize and reinforce that change. Ideally someone other than the person going through the change creates the Rite of Passage.

Modern Rites of Passage Should Include:

• Creating a sense of community
• Public acknowledgement of the boy by his father and/or other men
• Allowing boys to hear the stories of older men
• Modeling respect as a primary learning tool
• Challenging the boy to determine his own future, to be a positive, responsible member of his community and to live his life to its fullest potential
• Creating a community celebration upon the return of the young men
• Setting up of an ongoing supportive environment (all men who attend are aware that they do so not only for the boy they come with but also for every other boy in attendance)

Rites of Passage as the ultimate form of Preventative Medicine

Given that much of the health dollar is spent on dealing with the long-term effects of addictive behaviors such as cigarettes and alcohol, it is reasonable to say that anything that decreases their use will improve the overall health of the community.

An inspired man with a mission in life that is rewarding, a healthy relationship, family and a strong sense of belonging is much less likely to partake of self-destructive behaviors. This man will have an interest in his long-term health and an awareness that his future impacts upon those around him. Rites of Passage at appropriate times in his life will strengthen his connection with himself and his community.

I’d like to hear your thoughts in this in the comments below.