Teaching Future Generations Perseverance

Every generation of parents has a new set of challenges to deal with that are often impressed upon them by society.

While corporal punishment was once viewed as a critical part of raising children properly, they also exposed masses of children to various levels of abuse. In an era where such practices are strongly frowned upon, however, it might seem that children don’t have discipline.

Unfortunately, “discipline” is all-too-often associated with punishment rather than a series of necessary practices that can help both children and adults thrive.

In an age where simply participating in a competitive event is lauded almost as highly as winning the event, it can be difficult to teach children to persevere through the inevitable challenges and difficulties they will face in life.

Here are five tips to help teach future generations the art of perseverance.

Console Them When They Lose But Don’t Minimize the Loss

When the Chicago Cubs won the world series for the first time in over a century, more than 40 million viewers tuned in to watch it happen, making it the largest World Series viewing audience in decades.

Conversely, as the New England Patriots continue to rack up Super Bowl win after Super Bowl win, the numbers of people who want to watch it continue to dwindle.

We root the hardest for those we know have overcome the most to achieve their goals because they are the ones that inspire us the most.

By trying to minimize the pain of loss, you may be robbing your child of the eventual thrill of a massive victory that will only come through perseverance.

Losing is not just a part of life, it is actually a critical part of life—and of eventual victory.

Set a Good Example

Persevering isn’t just about pushing through after a loss, it is also about pushing through tough times and overcoming all kinds of challenges and obstacles on the path to achieving goals.

The very act of setting a goal is a determination to do something you are not currently capable of doing, accomplishing or achieving.

In fact, eventually achieving your goals may require entire lifestyle changes, which is part of what makes the pursuit of goals so valuable.

This is why you can’t achieve goals without perseverance and why it is such a critical trait to pass on to your children.

It doesn’t matter what your specific goals are, what is important is pushing past all setbacks and obstacles to set a good example for your children.

If they watch you quit when things get tough, it will be hard to inspire them to keep going when they encounter obstacles and challenges to achieving their dreams.

Help Them Set Goals and a Plan For Achieving Them

One of the most critical aspects of helping your children achieve their goals is to help them find something they are passionate about.

Work together to find something they want to do, accomplish or achieve.

Fair warning though! As tempting as it may be to set goals for them or to encourage them to set goals around something you want them to do, it is best to let them choose the goals they want to set for themselves.

Accomplishing and achieving goals is already hard enough but it’s nearly impossible when it’s not even their goal in the first place.

Don’t fret if their goal of choice is to pass a hard level in a video game or achieve an awesome rank in a competitive game they are obsessed with at the moment!

Kids today are born into a world full of tech and while older generations often struggle and reminisce about simpler times, the world as we know it today is normal to our kids.

In fact, you can take advantage of new technology and look into what type of games and apps are being made for children specifically.

You might be surprised how many of these apps and games are teaching them critical thinking, good values and how to cope with difficult situations.

While games and apps are often seen in a negative light, they teach children how to persevere and try over and over again until they succeed.

Embrace them. 

Let Your Children Struggle

It is always difficult for parents to watch their children struggle and it is natural for them to want to pave the way for their children to make achieving their goals smooth sailing.

By doing so, however, you are becoming a helicopter parent who will swoop in at the first sign of trouble. It’s hard to resist this urge, but giving in and helping with everything means you are cutting them out of critical growth and learning opportunities.

As hard as it may be to watch your children struggle, encourage them, support them, but let them struggle.

At some point, your children had to learn to tie their shoes by themselves.

It was probably a struggle for them and there were many times when you probably just tied their shoes for them to make life easier on both yourself and them. If you tied their shoes for them every time, however, they would still need someone else to tie them all the way into adulthood.

Eventually, they have to struggle through the learning process all on their own.

Don’t Let Them Quit Immediately After a Failure

Perseverance is not the result of winning and success, winning and success are generally the result of perseverance.

Loss and failure are not only painful, in many cases, but it can also be humiliating.

Over time, the urge to just quit trying as a way to avoid the pain of loss and failure can be powerful.

The ability to face rejection and even move through it and not let it derail us is a critical life skill.

While you don’t have to force your children to continue doing things they hate, you can negotiate with them to help them “get back up on the horse” after a painful failure or loss.

It may be encouraging them to just finish out the season or spend one more semester trying for that A, but whatever you do, try to encourage them not to quit after their first loss or bad experience.

Accept the Bad Times to Be Able to Enjoy the Good Ones

Bad moments are a part of life just like good ones, and good moments can’t really exist without a few bad ones.

There are likely few, if any, married couples that didn’t face the pain of rejection many times on the road to marriage. Yet clearly they persevered or they wouldn’t be married.

Most people that have a job probably had to endure a long string of rejection before finally landing that job.

Conversely, there are probably many people stuck in jobs they hate or bad relationships simply because they are afraid of facing the pain of rejection again.

Perseverance is not just a critical life skill, it’s a critical element of a happy life.

Joe Peters is a Baltimore-based freelance writer and an ultimate techie. When he is not working his magic as a marketing consultant, this incurable tech junkie devours the news on the latest gadgets and binge-watches his favorite TV shows. Follow him on @bmorepeters