Mental Strength Habits Of Purpose Driven Man – Part I

I’ve been getting a lot of great feedback on my complimentary e-book “The 2^nd Passage –A Vision Quest for Personal Meaning and Fulfillment” as well as quite a few questions.

Now to be upfront, the book and this series of posts is meant for the men out there that are “lost” or simply have the “something” inside them that is causing them to seek for answers and a balanced life.

Being a seeker once myself I can tell you at times it can feel frustrating, lonely and even discouraging.  You don’t like what you do for a living, but you don’t know what you should be doing.

In my case, I was in sales for over 25 years…sales was my life.

I came to a point in my career where the thrill of the hunt didn’t satisfy me and I questioned what all this was for?  What benefit was I actually bringing to society….how was I making people’s lives better?

So for over 5 years (without guidance) I searched and searched.  I read all the “mid-life crisis” books on men.  Listened to programs, went to workshops.  But what I was doing is looking outward for something that was inside me.

I do need to say that I don’t think the term “mid-life crisis” is adequate for us men, nor does it do us any justice.  Most of us are NOT in a mid-life crises, what are in is a mid life quest….a quest to find our balance and place in the next stage of our life.  I hardily consider a quest for meaning, fulfillment, life purpose and a balanced life a “mid life crises.”

OK…back to my story…I’m a lover of the Native American traditions and rituals, they are filled with depth, meaning and self-reflection and during this time I become very involved with a local Lakota clan in Bend, OR.

I participated in the sacred Ghost Dance, now called the Spirit Dance, numerous sweat lodges and many other practices that provided opportunities for soul-searching.  These experiencing started to open me up to my next path…my 2^nd Passage.

I moved back to the San Jose, CA to give sales on more shot…it didn’t work out.  Sure I was great…exceeding my quota, my customers liked me, but there was a frustration that emerged and I didn’t fit in with the corporate structure, the sales mentality or the sales team. So when the economy started to take a turn it was easy to for me to be in the first wave of RIF’s (reduction in force).

This is where all my seeking started to pay off.  I knew I connected with people, I liked to help people and I had passion and power.   I just needed find my purpose.

I once hear that what ever get’s you annoyed is your life purpose.

No…I don’t mean make everyone a better driver, but there is that something that when I saw it, or heard it…I got frustrated….this was how men at certain age started to almost reject who they were.

They went to an extreme of becoming so emotional and spiritual that they forgot what being a man was about.

Before I go any further I want to say upfront that what I’m about to say is for the men and is meant to help and support them and NOT to give them an excuse to act poorly.

I know this is a fine line I’m walking and I trust that if you’ve been reading this blog for sometime that I come from heart to provide information that will help everyone, both male and female.

So ladies, this next section is coming from a man’s perspective about men.

Men, to have a balanced and meaningful life YOU have to be balanced and meaningful. This means embracing the masculinity and accepting the feminine energy we all have.

When you look at you, the man, as a medicine wheel, there are four sections: spiritual, emotional, physical and mental.

In the early stages of our life we are the conquerors…the warriors and our life is lived from the physical and mental with little regard to the spiritual or emotional.

Then, when we cross that threshold (and for each of us it’s a different age) we begin to reject the warrior and start to embrace the monk…the “softer side” and we become weak, lack of focus and timid.

Or the opposite happens.  Men will reject the “softer side” and try to become more masculine and what happens is they become jerks!

Guys…this is not an either or world!

You can be both….you must be both!  You must live in balance with ALL parts of yourself so that you can live a life full of power, purpose and passion.

Over the next few weeks on Friday’s I’m going to go over some attributes that I feel, and have experienced, make up a complete man, in terms of living of life of meaning and fulfillment.

I have not simply made up these qualities. These come from all my experiences as well as others like David Deida, Native American teachings, books like “A Man of Steel and Velvet.”

Also, I have taken into account research from Harvard, Yale, Stanford and University of California that identified specific habits of “high achievers.”

By taking looking at these habits and modeling them, you will become a more balanced man.  You will walk through life with power, purpose, passion and perseverance.

So, as you read through these patterns in the upcoming weeks, you may relate to some of the ‘mental strength habits of a life purpose focused man’ and you will most likely relate to some of the habits of ‘mental weakness of an unfocused man’ (perhaps this is more intone with a “mid life crisis”)…that’s OK. Look at where you’re doing well and do more…look at where you can improve and do that.

To finish this post up I’m simply going to outline the 5 categories that make up a purposed driven man….they are:

Mental Habits

• Life Vision
• Life Purpose
• Seeker of Knowledge:
• Expression of Creativity

Emotional Habits

• Confronting and Conquering Fears
• Intrinsically Motivated
• Capacity to Develop Warm & Lasting Relationships
• Time Competent
• Accept Constructive Criticism:
• Personal Power

Physical Habits

• Stress Control
• Resistance to Illness and Disease
• Proper Nutrition
• Physical Exercise
• Energy Rejuvenation

Financial Habits

• Dollar Sense Smart
• Financial Control
• Career Security
• Law of Compensation

Spiritual Habits

• Spiritual Focus
• Sense of Higher Self:

OK…that’s it for now…I don’t want to give too much to ponder before the 4^th of July Holiday weekend 🙂

If you’d like to find out more about creating a life with power, purpose and passion:

1-     Visit the page entitled “The 2nd Passage Vision Quest” and read through it

2-     Download the e-book , just click on the logo in the top right of the post

3-     Contact me to discuss if The 2^nd Passage is right for you.

I hope you have a great and safe 4^th of July Holiday!

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• Mental Strength Tip #11 – Gratitude and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
• Mental Strength Tip #46 – Environment And Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)