Focusing On The Positive

As you may have gathered from my posts, I am obviously against negative thinking. So, if I’m against negative thinking, I must, for this reason, be in favor of positive thinking.

No.

No?!

No.

Positive thinking, as taught and practiced by many people, is not as dangerous as negative thinking, but it has its downside.

Thoughts are powerful, more powerful than most people give them credit for being. They are not, however, all-powerful. There is more to reality than just thoughts.

For example, try to turn a page on a book without doing anything physical. Don’t touch it or move it; just hold the book still and try to turn a page with your thoughts. Or try to think a glass of water to your mouth, or pick up the phone and think-dial a number. You see what I mean? Thoughts are powerful, but not all-powerful. There’s a lot of power in our physical abilities, too.

When some people first discover how powerful thoughts are they begin worshiping the mind. They deny the truth of what’s actually happening for a mental image they find more pleasant. This creates a separation between the positive thinker and reality. This separation can be the cause of disorientation, confusion and, eventually, illness.

As an example, suppose you had a small cut on your forehead. The positive thinker might say, “Your head is fine. The cut is only an illusion. Think of your forehead as healed.

Imagine your forehead perfect.”

I would probably say, “Oh, you cut your forehead. Let’s wipe the blood off, put on some antiseptic, and bandage it.” While I was physically taking care of what needed to be done,

I might suggest you hold a positive image of the cut healing quickly. But most likely I’d ask, “What happened?” because there’s a certain therapeutic quality in talking about the incident. Also, I’d be curious to know.

And, there may be a lesson in the accident – if nothing else, the way to keep it from happening again.

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 If I’m not in favor of positive thinking, what am I in favor of? If I’m not in favor of negative thinking, I must be in favor of something positive.

I am.

I recommend focusing on the positive.

Focusing on the Positive

In any given moment, there is ample evidence to prove that life is a bed of thorns or a garden of roses. How we feel about life depends on where we place our attention, that is, what we focus upon.

Did you ever notice that every time you are given a rose, the stem is covered with thorns?

(If you take the thorns off, the flower wilts more quickly. Florists know this, which is why they leave the thorns on.) Do you say, “Why are you giving me this stick with thorns on it?”

Of course not.

You admire the beauty of the rose. Even if you prick yourself in your enthusiasm, it never seems to hurt – you are too engrossed in appreciating the rose and the person who gave it to you.

Right now, in this moment, without moving from where you are, you can find ample evidence to prove your life is a miserable, depressing, terrible burden, or you can find evidence to prove your life is an abundant, joyful, exciting adventure.

Let’s start with the negative. Look at all the imperfections around you. No matter how good anything is, it could be better, couldn’t it? Look for dirt, disorder, and dust. See all the things that need cleaning, repairing, and replacing? An endless array of clutter, chaos, and catastrophe assaulting your senses. And all those damn alliterations in this paragraph.

Dis-gusting!

Now, explore the same environment with an attitude of gratitude and appreciation.

Look around the same area you just surveyed and find the good. You can start with whatever you’re sitting or lying on. It’s probably softer than a concrete floor.

Look at all the other objects you use but take for granted – glasses (both seeing and drinking), tables, windows, the walls and ceiling sheltering you from the elements. Consider the wonder of the electric light. A hundred years ago, you would have to have been very rich or very lucky to have had even one. And you probably have more than one – and a TV and a radio and many other electronic marvels.

What around you do you find esthetically pleasing? A painting you haven’t really looked at in years? The detail work on the clothes you’re wearing? A flower? A vase? Wallpaper? Carpet? When was the last time you took a moment to appreciate colors?

“One should sympathize with the joy, the beauty, the color of life – the less said about life’s sores, the better.” Oscar Wilde

Did you notice that you tended to feel better when you focused on the positive things in your surroundings? The process, of focusing on the positive to produce more positive feelings, works the same with things even more intimate than your surroundings – your body, for example.

If you look for all the things wrong with the body…wow…you are certainly going to find them. Pains here, bumps there, rough spots here, too much fat there – the list goes on and on (and, as we get older, goes on and on and on and on).

But take a look at all that’s right with your body. Even if you have pain in your left foot, you can be thankful there’s not one in your right. How about all those processes we take for granted? Digestion, circulation, respiration, assimilation, and thinking – yes, we think without having to even think about it. And let’s not forget the five senses. Some people take them so much for granted they can’t name all five without thinking, “Let’s see, what’s the fifth one?”

It’s as though there were two attorneys in your mind, one gathering evidence for “Life is Awful” and the other gathering evidence for “Life is Wonderful.” You’re the judge and can rule out any evidence you choose. Your decision is final. Which judicial ruling do you suppose would lead to more joy, happiness, peace, ease, and health?

To focus on the positive is not to disregard certain warning signals of a negative nature that, if ignored, eventually lead to inconveniences at best and disaster at worst. (If we use these “negative” signals to avoid disaster, then they’re not so negative after all. Some even call them guardian angels.)

Let’s say you’re driving down the freeway and the little light goes on, telling you you’re running out of gas. I do not suggest ignoring that bit of “negativity” and focusing on how wonderful it is that none of the other warning lights is on. I suggest you get some gas.

Here, by the way, is where negative thinking comes in. The negative reality is that you’re low on gas. Negative thinking begins the litany, “I wonder if I’m going to run out of gas before I reach the next station. What will I do if that happens? I’m in the middle of nowhere.

What if some highway robbers get me? If I do get to a gas station, will it be the kind I have credit cards for? I bet it will be more expensive than in town. I bet it will be self-service and the pump will be dirty and my hands will smell funny after. I knew I should have filled up in town. Why am I so lazy and stupid?” Etc., etc., etc.

During this inner tirade (which, for accomplished negative thinkers, takes place in under five seconds) the driver, in his or her anxiety, usually speeds up, which only wastes gas.

What I suggest is this: take note of the negative information, decide what to do about it (whatever corrective action seems to be in order) and return to focusing on the positive (in this case the music, the scenery, the passengers) while working on eliminating the negative.

With medical conditions, it’s good to keep track of symptoms, but it does no good to dwell on them. The positive thinker might deny the early symptoms of a disease, making a cure more difficult. The negative thinker might turn every mosquito bite into a killer bee sting.

Positive focusers take a middle road. They note symptoms accurately so they can be reported to their health-care provider. They make an appointment. Beyond that, there’s no point in dwelling on the symptoms, so they turn their attention to things more positive.

While we’re considering the idea that there is sufficient evidence in any given moment to prove that life is wonderful or that life is terrible, let’s take a look at how this works even closer to home: in our memories of the past and our anticipation of the future.

Here, too, we can muddle in the negative: “Tommy wouldn’t play with me when I was six.” “I have to go to the dentist next week, and I hate the dentist.”

Or, we can do positive thinking: “I’m winning the Oscar this year,” when we’ve never been in a movie. “I’m going hiking and camping next week,” when we’ve just had major surgery. “I have so many wonderful friends,” when the phone hasn’t rung in two weeks.

Or, we could try focusing on the good memories that actually happened and on realistic plans we look forward to with pleasure. “That movie on TV last night was so good.”

“Helen’s coming to visit tomorrow; that will be nice.” “The book I ordered should be arriving any day.”

Yes, it’s good to “live in the moment,” but who does that all the time? As long as you’re living in memories of the past and projections of the future, you might as well make them happy memories and joyful projections.

I will be giving some techniques later in which you can let your imagination run positively wild. There can be great value in this. What I’m talking about here is day-to-day, ordinary thinking. In my view, negative thinkers need to get their minds out of the sewer and positive thinkers need to get their heads out of the clouds.

Have I made a clear distinction between positive thinking and focusing on the positive?

It’s a subtle but important difference. Positive thinking imagines any wonderful thing at all, no matter how unrelated it is to the actual events of one’s life. Focusing on the positive starts with what’s real, what’s actually taking place, and moves from there in a joyful direction.

If you spend all your time in a positive future, when will you appreciate the present? The present is the future you dreamed of long ago. Enjoy it.

Until next week, if you’d like to get started on turning your thinking by picking up a copy of Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior today!