Who am I – Contemplating the Question
Winter is nearing and this is a time that many people withdraw into their inner beings. We can see vivid examples of this also in nature with the 
bears hibernating, the flowers and trees resting from blooming, and the insect go dormant.
This is an ideal time for serious contemplation about ““Who am I?” done in a constructive manner.
The question of “Who am I?” is a very basic question and one many of us have asked at some time or another in our lives. We go along with our lives many times without understanding what is actually happening!
This is when we watch other people such as teachers, friends, parents, and even those on TV and such to learn. We start forming our own unique persona to project out to others with which we come in contact.
However, are we showing our true selves?
We put on various persona’s during our lives just to fit in with the crowd, as if life is a game. The question of ““Who am I?” comes back into our minds, because of this. What is behind all this? Is it that we are afraid of showing our true selves, so we just keep pretending?
“Who am I?” Truly Supposed to Be?
This may appear as an easy question to answer. However, in what way do you provide the answer? Do you just answer by giving your name? Do you give the pedigree of your family? Is it your job title that you provide the answer? Eventually, we realize that none of these facts provides the answer to the question and we are left wondering “Is this the person I really am?” and we shrug and walk away.
You ask who you are once again, “Who am I?” Each time apply for a job, compose a resume, sign up for a dating service online, or socially meet someone, this so-called basic question must be addressed.
The true answer is your story. Many things will combine to make this story such as your skills, quirks, achievements, history, interests, dislikes, likes, background, failures and successes. We may have multiple versions of our stories. One for each type of scenario in which we are asked the question.
We do not stop at this point. Most people do more soul searching to improve upon their stories, and in some cases create new stories, to get through this world with all its social pressures better. However, we must have an understanding of why we act in a specific way or how we need to get ready for the next stage of our lives. These stories are forever changing and growing. They aren’t set in stone. The stories develop a deeper dimension and often show things we did not think of before. They could also explain in a more constructive manner certain happenings in our lives.
However, these stories still do not answer ““Who am I?” sufficiently.
Maybe a better way to answer this type of question is to examine the way we behave. Numerous things affect our behavior, but for this, we will concentrate on just roles and feelings.
If we get angry, the world is seen as an opposing force. Our child, partner or anyone else in our lives could appear threatening and as a result, we will act towards them in this manner, even to the point of regretting it later.
When we are in need, we feel the world is not giving us that which we need. As a result, we resist letting go of certain things unnecessarily at times. This is the same with other emotions such as jealousy, prides, compassion, devotion, or love.
Our role in various scenarios also has a bearing on how we react or behave. We behave one way when we are in charge issuing order, we react differently when we are in the role of receiving orders, and then we still react in a totally different matter, if we are a mediator helping the one in charge and the one receiving orders come to an understanding.
We portray a certain persona when we have belonged to a particular group for some time, and portray another one, when we are trying to into the group. Individuals act a certain way around their parents, and differently with their siblings or kids. Who you and everyone else are within family structure can even change according to what role you and others have in the family.
The conclusion of all this information is that people portray their persona’s differently on a daily basis.
The further we examine the question of “Who am I?” the more mysterious the answer is. This leads to yet another possible answer. Can the answer to ““Who am I?”?” truly be a mystery to us? Spiritually, a mystery can only be experienced and not explained in mere words. Could be gain knowledge of who we are experientially?
In place of attempting to explain who we are, let us examine our experience, while we remember the essence of a quote made by John Audubon. He said something to the affect that when the bird and book disagreed, you need to look at the bird.
Examine the “I” and see what you discover. Many ideas and thoughts could occur, but do not let them lead you away from the topic. Keep probing into “I”. Eventually you and the rest of us realize we are not seeing anything, when “I” is examined. Nothing comes to mind at first. We do not trust this fact.
We fell something is not right, and we once again concentrate on who we are, and maybe try to figure out if our thinking is wrong. In this, we are not trusting the bird and only reading the book.
When we keep examining and accept the not seeing fact, we eventually will relax over this, and realize we have become aware of our awareness.
This is fine, but how will this fact assist us with navigating our lives?
We need to look first at the absolutes. Consider everything a story, because it is all a story. Our relationship with things and people changes and because of this, so do our stories. Many individuals have very complex stories that focus on things such as cars, computers, stamps, or flowers and they treat these things, as if they were people.
On the other hand, you and many others have been in at least some type of relationship, with work or your personal life in which you and the other people were treated more like objects. Things, situations, and people are not absolutes. They only influence the way we interact and the persona we portray.
This means that relationships are very important. Interdependence is the word for this concept according to the Buddhist language. This word means that everything that exists is defined by its relationship to all other things.
You will also need to release fixed positions outside or inside. We cause issues when we set our minds in a fixed position stating that something will be a specific way. This makes us think that one way is right and another way is wrong, and this causes conflict.
We just think there are only two ways to look at something. It is just black or white, with no gray in between. In a conflict such as this, the two opposing positions that have a deeper meaning. Having a fixed position prohibits from seeing a certain part of the world. Black is at one end of the color spectrum and white is at the other end of the color spectrum.
Look at all the other colors that can be seen in colors besides just black and white. Now, we change our perspective, when we understand how the color spectrum works. To Buddhists, this is considered the middle way, and not taking a position to either extreme end of the spectrum. This develops awareness, as you are open to the whole spectrum.
The next thing we need to do is to realize the awareness that exists even when times are bad. We think about our stories and other people’s stories all the time and at the time of interaction, the stories are considered as the truth. They are not the truth though they are just projections and ideas created at the moment.
Projecting these stories is actually a distraction from what is actually happening at the time. We need to quit projecting these stories, whether they are ours or other people’s to quit thinking in definite terms about how we or others are. When we quit projecting, we are able to experience what is actually happening at the time, feel the sensory and physical sensations, allow the ideas and thoughts into our minds, and be in touch with all sensory and physical sensations.
We are open to unlimited possibilities to the extent of being relaxed with the complete sense of awareness of which the whole process started. It is present. It is constantly present, as much as there are moments of silence with sound, and space exists with form. This happens when we know how to connect with it and do it.
The question of “Who Am I?” and similar deep and reflective questions will be answered at The Warriors Quest. To find out more please go HERE.
