Trusting For Peak Performance – Part 1

Real learning can only occur in an environment of trust. Without trust, a human being’s unique capacity for learning and developing simply shuts down. Within a trusting space, strong emotional connections can be made between yourself and a client/customer, your work colleague or your partner in life.

These connections enable powerful growth to occur. If trust is not established, then this type of emotional connection can’t happen, and without this type of emotional connection, you are probably not really succeeding in the area of personal growth and will not achieve peak performance.

So often today we see relationships that are troubled by conflict, disagreements and negativity. To be able to create trust we first must commit to taking responsibility for creating a trusting space and a positive outcome. If we don’t come from this place of commitment then it won’t happen.

Let’s consider the many relationships that we operate within. There are work relationships, personal relationships, family relationships, etc. Work relationships can be with fellow workers or your clients or customers.

Whether you are a consultant, employee, friend, or family member, you will have many relationships. For the purpose of creating a trusting space lets refer to each of these people in your life as your “partner.”

What is a Trusting Space?

• In a trusting space, your “partner” is seen at their best even when they can’t see this for themselves.

• In a trusting space, your “partner” is free to talk about their values, their dreams, their hopes and their aspirations in the complete confidence that these will be met with full acceptance.

• In a trusting space, you are able to trust in your “partner”, knowing that they bring a strong set of skills to the relationship.

• In a trusting space, your “partner” is able to trust that you will act ethically and in their best interests at all times. Imagine a world where this happened all the time.

Wow!

How powerful…talk about reaching peak performance!

When Trust Is Absent

If you haven’t managed to establish a trusting space, then all of the other strategies you employ are unlikely to work. It would be like putting new wine into an old dirty bottle.

Without trust, your “partner” may appear to respond in the short-term, but there is unlikely to be significant ongoing progress and will not achieve peak performance. If you have not built a trusting relationship with your “partner”, they are unlikely to open up and speak freely.

Where the trusting space has not been established, your “partner” may be hesitant to genuinely outline their weaknesses for fear of a negative reaction. They may be hesitant to genuinely outline their strengths for fear of being thought proud or boastful.

They will be unlikely to share such intimate things as their values, their vision for themselves, their hopes and their dreams and ultimately not achieve peak performance.

Without these things, your relationship will skate across the surface. Any personal goals that are set will tend to be of limited depth and short-term value. Like a house built on shaky foundations, things might look okay from the outside, but it will not be long before cracks will start to appear.

Emotions and Learning

Recent studies of brain function have taught us a lot about the way human beings learn, and has lead to the development of what we now call “emotional intelligence”.

We know, for instance, that when human beings are in a state of stress, they bring into action parts of the brain designed for making quick decisions (the limbic system), which interfere with the parts of the brain used for reflection and analysis (prefrontal cortex).

In other words, when people are feeling anxious or upset their brain is not geared for learning. This is why people who are emotionally upset will say that they just can’t “think straight”.

They simply cannot take in or process information in the way that they can when they feel calm and secure. (Goleman, 1996)

In order for optimal growth and peak performance to occur, we need:

• To ensure that the environment is devoid of stress or anxiety

• To “clear the space” of stress inducers to allow emotional engagement to begin

• To meet the needs of the emotional, as well as the rational parts of the brain, in order to engage your partner in powerful learning.

The Will Rogers Test

When you begin to assist your “partner”, I suggest using the “Will Rogers Test”.

Will Rogers was an actor and writer who starred in many Hollywood films during the 1930?s, almost always playing a cowboy much like himself. Rogers famously stated: “I never met a man I couldn’t like.” Rogers never said, “I never met a man I DIDN’T like.”

By saying that he never met a man he “COULDN’T” like, he was pointing to the simple fact that reaching out to the humanity in others is a choice that we can all make.

When confronted with a “partner” whose agenda is challenging, apply the Will Rogers test and try to engage with that person’s humanity, so that you can support them in their life journey.

If you find yourself in a situation where you perceive that you genuinely cannot support the agenda of your partner, (in other words, where you fail the Will Rogers test), the humane thing to do is to end the relationship or at least the current circumstance, so that your “partner” and you can move forward.

Honesty is paramount to ensuring trust.

Trusting in Yourself

In order for you to create a trusting space, you must trust in yourself. You must trust that you, too, are magnificent, highly skilled and a motivated individual, with a great deal to offer to your “partner.”

If you do not believe this about yourself, your “partner” won’t believe this about you. One of the most powerful lessons can occur when you model the self-awareness, self-management and peak performance that you want for your “partner.”

The Power of Trusting Relationships

One of the beautiful by-products of creating a trusting space between you and your “partner” is that your “partner” is able to experience the power of a trusting relationship.

Once they have experienced a relationship of trust with you, they may feel inspired to seek this type of relationship with others around them.

The strategies that you use to create a space of trust for your “partner” can just as effectively be applied by them between their “partner”, children, client, coworker, customer, relative or friend.

Imagine how successful a “partner” could become if they always operated in an environment of trust. Imagine how powerful you could be if you could support your “partners” to live in an environment of trust!

Everyone would have a greater opportunity at reaching their own peak performance.

If you’d like to experience a trusting environment so that you grow personally and reach your peak performance request your Introductory Consultation today HERE.

References

• Biano-Mathis, V., Nabors, L. & Roman, C., (2002), Leading from the inside out, Sage Publications, California.
• Goleman, Daniel, 1996, Emotional Intelligence, Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. Bloomsbury, London
• Stober, Dianne, “Coaching from the Humanistic Perspective”, in Stober, Dianne and Grant, Anthony (eds), 2006
• Evidence Based Coaching Handbook, John Wiley and Sons, New Jersey Ting, Sharon and Riddle, Doug.
• “A Framework for Leadership Development Coaching”, in Ting, Sharon and Scisco, Peter (eds) The CCL Handbook of Coaching, 2006, Jossey-Bass, SanFrancisco