Self-Management And Personal Success – Part 1

Greetings and welcome back!

Today I’d like to talk about self-management and how it affects reaching your personal goals and achieving personal success.

The word management is mainly known through its practical application in business. Management is to handle something successfully using skill or something else. It is usually in reference to the administration of business.

We have all been managed at some time or another and some of us have also been managers or part of management.

Traditionally management has worked around the premise that it is about how to manage something – projects, humans etc. It is not usually referred to on the managing of ourselves.

Managing others is an outward action, managing self requires going within to observe self and to see what needs managing. We have also thought in the past that managing others involves the ability to change people to do the things we need them to do.

The biggest awakening at this moment in time, that needs to occur, is that we cannot change others, only ourselves. Any attempt to change others is futile and highly judgmental. But we can change ourselves; we can manage our own change and create energy to reach our personal goals and achieve our personal success.

“What you think of Yourself is what you think of the World” – Dr. Wayne W Dyer

The way that you view your world is what you think about yourself. If you see the world as a place filled with crime and corruption and you feel that it is generally not a great place, then your pessimistic outlook will be the same as how you feel about yourself.

If you feel that the world is full of happy great people and you are optimistic, then you will feel the same about your own life.

Whatever attitude you have about the world then you will bring this same belief upon yourself. Your attitude is a good indicator of the respect you have about your ability to bring about the type of vision and dreams you want to have.

If you feel pessimistic then you will believe that you are not able to fulfill your dreams and vision. If you feel optimistic then you will believe that it is possible to create your vision and to bring about positive great things.

In his book, “The Power of Intention”, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer tells of a conversation that he heard following the 9/11 events in New York City.

“A grandfather was talking to his grandson, telling him, “I have two wolves barking inside of me. The first wolf is filled with anger, hatred, bitterness, and mostly revenge. The second wolf inside me is filled with love, kindness, compassion, and mostly forgiveness” “Which wolf do you think will win?” the young boy inquired.

The grandfather responded, “Whichever one I feed.” (p. 137)

This story is actually an old Cherokee legend and outlines how we can approach our life.

If we choose to see all the awful, tragic parts of our world, where there is crime and hatred, then we will bring these feelings upon ourselves. If we choose to see the world in a way that is full of opportunity, blue skies, great people, then we will bring this great feeling upon ourselves. We will look at the world from a place of self-love and self-respect and be in a better sate to achieve our personal success.

Our very view of the world is the very view to our soul, our mind, our feelings. What you see is what you will get, is a follow through of this concept.

Self-management is making a choice about the way you see the world and thus yourself.

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have” – Doris Mortman

Creating vision or setting personal goals or deciding to have certain kinds of relationships, that are successful, is not achieved by external forces, such as our community or our friends etc.

The most important element in any goal is looking at who we are. There are many ways we can begin the journey of starting to look within ourselves. But first we need to decide if we are going to take a look optimistically or pessimistically. Check which option you are choosing as it will determine what you see.

Then you can begin the journey.

There are a number of principles or values that you can use to strengthen your capacity to look within. Stephen R. Covey, talks about three key’s that are important for him.

They are:

• Integrity
• Humility
• Gratitude

People with integrity are those whose words match their deeds and whose behavior mirrors their values. Their honesty and ethics can be trusted unconditionally. They honor commitment. They are dependable. They are known for doing the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times.

“While numerous tales of integrity take place in the public settings where others can see them, often the most powerful examples occur in the stillness of a private moment – when no one else is looking? (Covey, 2006,p. 158)

The second principle or value is humility. Humility is where we move beyond our ego or sense of felling more important than others. When we boast about our skills or attributes this is not humility. Humility is when we are open to learning, open to not knowing, open to seeing the beauty in others. Humility is the key that opens our minds to learning from others.

“Though humility is not a tangible commodity, we know it when we see it and feel it when we hear it.? (Covey, 2006, p.158)

The third principle is that of gratitude. Gratitude is the shifter of energy; it is the principle or value that reminds us that our worries and concerns are small in comparison to what we have to be grateful for. The moment that you shift your energy outward to think about what you are grateful for is a great moment.

When you have integrity and then humility, your acknowledgement or appreciation is real. It is felt in the purest way and your words have great meaning. You truly show that you are grateful. Only a person who is truly self-managed and has a healthy optimistic view of the world and themselves can give gratitude.

A person who is negative or pessimistic will not want to be thankful or appreciative for others. They will not have the self-love reserve to be able to give the energy to giving gratitude. Acknowledging, praising, appreciating, being grateful are signs of a healthy body, mind and soul. Gratitude without integrity is insincere. All three principles are critical for the journey of self-management.

The very art of giving is only possible when you feel full and satisfied. It is like sitting down to a large feast. You fill on what you need and then once done you feel replenished.

Giving is the same.

You must ensure that you are full to the brim so that you in turn can give back.

• If you do not have self-love, then you cannot love others.

• If you do not have self-respect then you do not respect others.

• If you do not value your self then you will not value others.

If you think you can show these values to others even when you are not truly believing in them, it will show.

This is deception. You are deceiving yourself if you think that you can pretend to care or love or give to others. If you do not believe this for yourself then your giving will be conditional. Your caring will be conditional and your love will be conditional.

Self-Acknowledgment

Part of self management and achieving personal success is the ability to self-acknowledge.

Self acknowledgement is when you can look at what you are doing and see what you have achieved and take a moment out to recognize your achievements. It is like filling your body up with self-love. It gets stronger and healthier in all aspects. Only when you are feeling strong in your own self-love can you acknowledge the greatness in others.

Purpose

“Self-realization means that we have been consciously connected with our source of being. Once we have made this connection, then nothing can go wrong….” -Swami Paramananda

In her book, “Beingness, A Commitment to Self”, Annette Noontil takes you through a 90 day meditation to attain a state of “beingness.” The 90-day process is to make a commitment to self to work towards a place of inner peace and calm. Each day she takes you through meditation followed by a range of thoughts for the day.

In addition she asks that you write a diary of your dreams and thoughts around the daily questions. This ritual or process can be done for 90-days or for the rest of your life. There are many processes like this to support a person to find their inner strengths and to better know themselves.

Self-management requires you to truly know self then it requires discipline and introducing practices into your day that will support you in achieving this.

If you do not make these practices a priority in your day then you do not value the importance of self-management. If you allow these practices to slip by then you can expect that the absence of them will also mean self-love can become absent too.

Remember that there are many processes or models that have been developed to achieve your purpose, vision, personal success or personal goals. These processes are different to what you need to achieve self-management.

First you must go within yourself to see what you believe and feel. Once you begin this you may find a process that supports your ongoing journey to self-awareness. Self-awareness is not goal setting. It is getting to know who you are. It is uncovering your beliefs, your values, your view of self and the world.

Choose the right process that supports you.

There are many available.

It is just a matter of finding one that is aligned with you and how you want to proceed along your self management journey.

It is also very important to have people around you who support your journey. It may be a friend, partner, spouse or a coach.

You can request an Introductory Consultation with me HERE to explore coaching further and help you become better self-managed so that you can reach you personal goals and personal success.

Select the right person.

The one who reinforces your greatness and your self-worth.

Contemplation

• Write up a process that will best serve you to become self-managed.
• What are the values that you are going to choose to live by to achieve self management? Observe how you view your world. It is positivity or negativity?
• How does this view impact on how you think of yourself?

References

• Covey, Stephen R,. 2006, Inspiration for a meaningful life: everyday greatness, Rutledge Hill Press, Tennessee.
• Dwyer, Wayne W. Dr., 2004, The Power of Intentions: Learning to co-create your world your way, Hay House Inc., USA
• Noontil, Annette, Beingness, A Commitment to Self, McPherson?s Printing Group, Australia. ISBN 0 646 30218 3.