How to Deal With Unsupportive, Disempowering And Negative Thoughts
Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can be recognized by certain telltale traits. Specifically, negative thoughts—which we can also call disempowering thoughts—are connected to selfish desire, hatred, or delusion.
Thoughts associated with selfish desire are predicated on our voracious appetite for pleasure. A negative thought of this sort may prompt us to act or speak in a way that provides us with momentary gratification.
Whereas thoughts based on selfish desire draw us toward an act that we believe will give us pleasure, thoughts associated with hatred repel us from people or situations we think will cause us pain or make us feel uncomfortable.
Deluded thoughts are at odds with reality and result from our failure to see ourselves and the world as they really are. On the basis of delusion, we can generate grandiose thoughts about our own importance or our own worthlessness, or we can somehow come to believe that we are immune to the changes to which everyone else is subject.
It requires skill, of course, to recognize these disempowering or negative thoughts, and ultimately, it takes knowing ourselves very well—the kind of self-knowledge that comes only with mental strength honesty and dispassionate observation.
To give you some practice at identifying disempowering and negative thoughts, try this simple exercise the next time you meditate or sit in the park.
Whenever you catch your mind drifting in its usual haphazard way, take a moment to examine the character of the thought that has captured your attention.
The great danger of entertaining any thought that arises from selfish desire, hatred, and delusion is its eventual effects on the shape of our minds. Even the thoughts that remain confined to the interior of our skulls can multiply, generating habits of thought that form our personality and character.
The practice of mindfulness offers a variety of very useful ways to assist us in neutralizing negative thoughts and relaxing their toxic effects on the mind. They’re all forms of relinquishment, and they’re all dependent on our ability to recognize a negative thought when it arises.
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To make it easy to remember, they all being with the letter “R”
Replacement
In some ways, replacement is the simplest and most effective method of disarming a harmful and negative thought. When an unsupportive thought arises, we immediately supplant it with an empowering one. This can thought of the same way a woodworker might knock out a coarse peg with a fine one.
This approach is most effective when the negative thought is replaced by a skillful one that directly counteracts it.
Thoughts based on selfish desire, for example, can be substituted by thoughts about the impermanence of the object of desire. Thoughts grounded in hatred can be replaced with notions of friendliness and compassion.
Finally, thoughts founded on delusion can be overcome by thoughts based in reality.
Initially, the technique of replacing negative thoughts may seem awkward and artificial, but if you act in a certain way over time—even when it doesn’t feel authentic—those actions will eventually begin to feel and be real and genuine.
Reflecting on Results
We can also contemplate the consequences of the negative thoughts by reflecting on the results. When disempowering thoughts arise, we think about the effects of holding these unwise notions.
Consider the kind of person you become when you entertain and foster a particular unsupportive thought. If mind shapes our experience, then our negative thoughts have ineluctable consequences.
Follow the trajectory of an unsupportive thought. It’s not even necessary to reflect on the consequences of acting on these thoughts; you can simply think about having your mind packed with such ideas.
This technique is like a snake or animal carcass around the neck of a well-dressed person. Such a thought is improper to a wise and compassionate human being. When the unsupportive thought appears, don’t denounce it; just let it go, reminding yourself that it is not reflection of who you truly are.
Redirecting
Redirecting is simply diverting attention away from the negative thoughts to something more beneficial.
This is like averting one’s gaze to avoid staring at certain objects.
In mindful meditation, when the mind has been distracted by thought, we simply escort the attention back to the breath. Thus, our practice of meditation strengthens our ability to employ this technique.
Redirecting attention relies on the impermanence of reality to work.
We’re all aware that everything in the world will change and pass away. That thought usually occasions within us a feeling of sadness or melancholy. However, the impermanence of reality can be a source of comfort and happiness when we accept it, and we have to be constantly reminded to accept it.
Redirecting attention helps us to accept the impermanence of the world and to use that fact to our benefit. Thoughts, like everything else, pass away. To maintain a thought, we have to renew it, which is why we have to be reminded of life’s transience.
Of course, if we renew the negative thoughts, it will arise again, at which point we escort our attention elsewhere. Eventually, by redirecting attention, the unsupportive thought will lose its power and fade.
Redirecting attention need not use the breath as its anchor; any empowering thought or activity can be sufficient. Far better to keep oneself diligently engaged with a supportive activity in case the straying mind comes to dwell in greed, aversion, and delusion.
Reconstructing
Reconstructing involves analyzing the formation of the negative thoughts. In reflecting on results, we contemplate the forward trajectory of an unsupportive thought, considering its consequences for the future. With reconstructing, on the other hand, we examine the experiences that have given rise to the disempowering notion.
Through the process of reconstructing, we can begin to examine the assumptions supporting a particular belief. This allows us to see how negative thoughts can be rooted in unsound assumptions that we make about the things that will make us happy, and it allows us to examine those assumptions more rationally.
When we’ve analyzed the root causes of envy enough times, we come to recognize a peculiar pattern of unsupportive thinking that most of us routinely practice. It’s a manner of thought strongly encouraged by our competitive culture.
The mindfulness tradition calls restructuring “comparing mind,” which is the treacherous habit of seeing how we measure up to other people. Our culture is obsessed with it and, in a sense, thrives on it.
The foremost disadvantage of comparing mind is the unnecessary suffering it causes: We not only feel bad about ourselves, but we often begin to wish ill upon the person we envy—sometimes to the point where we take steps to realize those wishes.
Whether we judge ourselves favorably or unfavorably, the practice of comparing mind is unwholesome. It causes us harm, expends our precious mental energy, and erodes our relationships with others.
Although it is generally unskillful, there are times when comparing mind can be used skillfully, but doing so is an advanced practice that requires great wisdom. For most of us, however, certainly in the early stages of mindfulness practice, it is a habit that is best acknowledged and then relinquished.
Some questions to consider:
- As you meditate, try to identify patterns of unwholesome, or unskillful, thinking. What kinds of negative thoughts seem to dominate your thinking life?
- Which techniques to deal with unwholesome thoughts work best for you?
You can find additional techniques for dealing with disempowering, unsupportive and negative thought in Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior.
Reference – The Great Courses
