Mental Strength, Values and Life Purpose – Part II

In Mental Strength, Values and Life Purpose – Part 1, I started a discussion about how values, beliefs play a critical role in your life purpose.

I continue with this discussion in Part II.

Again, I’d like to thank my coaching school, ICA, for the inspiration for this topic.

Rules for Living Strong

Determining your life purpose is one thing. Making it happen is another. Most people who have achieved great success in their lives will tell you that their personal success was not a result of a few major choices; it was the result of a huge amount of small choices made every single day. If you look at an elite athlete, for example, their choice to join a league or swap teams, or to take up a scholarship, while important, will not figure in their success nearly as much as the choice to get out of bed and run around a cold running track, or do lap after lap in a swimming pool, day in, day out, year after year.

There are small choices that you can make every day that will take you closer to your dreams, or choices that you can make that will lead you further away. That’s why your purpose is so important. It is the reason for living and must be used to determine which small choices to make. Making challenging choices every day requires a few ground rules to be put in place. These ground rules will support you along your journey. These rules I call “The Rules for Living Strong?. Once you have determined your purpose, then your Rules for Living Strong will become obvious and while they may be similar to other people’s they will be different in key ways and unique to your life journey.

One aspect to these rules are your values.  Your values unconsciously direct your actions…they “tell” you where to spend your time and what to give attention to.  This is why knowing and understanding your values is so important in fulfilling your life’s purpose and achieving personal success.

Dalai Llama’s might include spending several hours meditating each day. Steven Spielberg’s might include watching movies by other director’s each week. Your Rules for Living Strong might include anything from eating vegetables every day to dancing, to having a good, long laugh! Any small steps that lead to your purpose can be added to your rules. Try and create about 5 rules for living strong that you can achieve each day. Keep a journal outlining every day if you have achieved them or not and don’t forget to celebrate when you do.

Focus

So let’s recap. To achieve your purpose in life you will have written down your values and understand their importance in relation to hierarchy and motivation (‘away from’ or ‘towards’).  Consciously design your purpose, discussed it with a few trusted friends, colleagues, or coach, created some goals, designed some actions and written up your rules for living strong to support you in your daily activates.

Each day you’ll check in to make sure you are living by your rules or structures that support you in achieving your purpose. After having done all of this you will notice how your focus is totally different to before. You’re purpose is before you everyday, you are focused on it, you are achieving your goals, you are sharing your purpose with your trusted consul.

The energy around all of this activity is outward and forward. As you continue doing this you will notice how opportunities will come before you that support your purpose. Your rules will ensure you are open to receiving and seeing these opportunities as they arise before you. Now the positive energy is spinning around you, in you, out of you and it is noticeable.

When highly successful people are surveyed and asked about their personal success it is always because they were very clear about their purpose and they stayed focused on achieving it. Everyday you will encounter reasons that may make you question your purpose or the action you need to take that may challenge you. If your purpose is strongly grounded in your values then you will know intuitively that your purpose is clear and exact. If you have followed the process honestly and deeply then trust your purpose and your values, which means trust yourself.

Contemplation

Select three trusted people you would like to share your values and purpose with…or a coach :-). How will you ask them to support you in achieving your purpose? Think of some role models that you have and look at what you value about them. Keep these role models close at hand so their lives inspire your when you need it. What are your rules for living well?

Mental Strength Coaching

Taking it to the next level

Some people come to me with a clear vision for their life and a keen sense of their own personal values. Others have spent some time reflecting on these but will find that my coaching takes them to a deeper level and helps them to really clarify what they want out of life.  Still others come to me looking at specific work or life challenges and have spent very little time contemplating any bigger issues than these.

My clients use coaching to support them to achieve any goal and to change any behavior. However, the goals that bring them closer to their purpose will be the most satisfying. The behaviors that align most closely to their values will be the ones that bring them the most joy. When a client and I work together on these items, coaching moves them to a new level. Things that seemed impossible before suddenly become possible. Pathways become clearer and obstacles smaller.

I really enjoy taking my clients through the above process. I use a variety exercises and techniques like, hypnosis, Time Empowerment® or visualization to support them in knowing their purpose and I also ask them to contemplate and meditate on it.

I always ask my client how I can best support them in achieving their purpose. It is always great to work with a client to support them in thinking big. As a coach I often ask my client to imagine if anything is possible, keep getting them to create a bigger picture for themselves. I discuss any perceived limitations they may have and ask them to put these aside whilst doing this exercise. All limitations and fears can be worked through. Often these fears disappear when a client realizes their purpose. Everything falls into place and they suddenly smile and feel relieved. You can hear them take a big breathe like a sigh. This is a great sign. They are feeling certain of their purpose and it is comforting them. The deep breathe is the release of all the fears. It is vital that I encourage, inspire and guide my client into knowing their purpose when they are ready to go there. It will give them the clarity they need and the direction to move forward in to be highly successful and confident and reach their peak personal performance.

Often when I first start working with a client I ask them to do this process first. If my client doesn’t the relevance in this, at this time, I’ll give them the space to move there when they are ready.  ‘Enthusing’ them along the way I support them as best as possible.

It’s only fear of how amazing we can be that stops us from following our purpose. As a coach I know my purpose and how it relates to me and my life. I sometimes share my purpose with clients in order to put them at ease.

It is pretty hard not to talk about one’s life purpose once you recognize what it is.  It is so exciting and it will create enormous amounts of energy in you!

Reflection

• What is it about coaching that can assist you in reflecting on their purpose?
• Why are values so important to your life’s purpose?
• Do you feel there is a relationship between values and happiness and if so what is it? What is the relationship between behaviors and underlying values?

My e-book, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” can assist you tremendously in discovering values and your life purpose.  Also, if you’d like to explore this further “live” request your Introductory Consultation.  

Please let me know your thoughts about this in the comments below.