Feelings Of Success, But …

…programmed for failure, perhaps. 

People often want to “get rid of” a “negative” emotion before attempting something new.

That’s the same thing as saying, “I want to get rid of some of my energy.”

Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger are, in fact, tools. Tools are neutral – they can be used either for us or against us. A knife can be used to heal or to hurt. A hammer can be used to build or to destroy. It is not the tool itself, but the way the tool is used that determines its benefit or detriment.

The difficulty lies in a fundamental misperception of “limiting” emotions. The limitation is not in the emotions themselves, but in the way we’ve been taught to perceive these emotions. We’ve been programmed with certain attitudes about certain feelings, and in the attitudes lie the limitations, not in the feelings.

In a sense, we play isometrics with our feelings and our attitudes. A certain feeling arises. An attitude says we shouldn’t have that feeling, and pushes it down. It’s like arm wrestling with ourselves – we can expend a lot of energy and work diligently, but not much is accomplished.

When we see how little gets done, we wonder:

• why we’re so tired

• why so little was accomplished (“I tried so hard”)

• or both

The energy pushing up and the energy pushing down is all our energy. Imagine moving toward a goal and not just removing the inner resistance to achieving that goal, but adding all the energy that was part of the resistance to the forward motion of achievement.

Whew!

Imagine if all the energy of fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger were available to help us achieve anything we wanted.

Well, it is.

Using fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger as allies in the journey toward our dreams is not difficult. It is a matter of understanding their true use and function – and remembering that we now know it. (The habit of treating them as “the enemies” to be “gotten rid of” can be strong.)

It’s as though someone hung a large rock around our neck. “Oh, how heavy,” we’d complain.

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Later we were told the rock was really a diamond in the rough. “Oh! How heavy!” we’d exclaim.

Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger are diamonds in the rough. They’re valuable now, and with a little cutting and polishing, they become priceless.

And neither shall we learn to war with ourselves any more.

Fear Is the Energy to Do Your Best in a New Situation

Think about entering a new situation. To meet the new situation, imagine you received an extra burst of energy, your senses sharpened, there was a tingling – an excitement – in your body, and you became more sensitive and aware.

Doesn’t that sound great?

It seems to be the very thing we need in order to do our best in a new situation. Well, it’s precisely what does happen each time we enter a new situation. Most of the time, however, we call it “fear” and we don’t like it.

Contrary to popular belief, our parents didn’t teach us to feel fear. Our parents did teach us to use fear as a reason not to do something. As I explained earlier, they did this from love. Children cannot logically determine whether their physical well-being is or is not endangered when attempting a new activity.

Alas, at eighteen-or-so, when we do know the difference between the truly dangerous and the merely new and untried, no one draws us aside and says, “That fear you’ve been using as a reason not to do things – it’s really part of the energy to get things done.”

The first thing we need when entering a new situation (whether physically or in our imagination) is more energy. A new situation, by definition, will be different, and extra energy will help us meet the challenges of whatever “different” may hold.

When we feel fear, adrenaline, glucose, and other energy-producing chemicals are released into the bloodstream. This physiological energy is available to support our thoughts and actions.

In a new situation, naturally we want to get all the information we can. This is where the sharpened senses, sensitivity, and heightened awareness associated with fear are useful – they help us absorb and more quickly process the new information.

Fear also forces us to let go of irrelevancies. We automatically focus on what’s most important, “and let the rest of the world go by.” When in a new situation, we want to focus on what’s central, what’s significant. Fear drives thoughts about whether or not grapefruit will be on sale right out of our awareness.

Part of doing our best in a new situation involves learning. There is so much to learn from a new experience – so much to learn about the experience and, more importantly, so much to learn about ourselves. Fear provides a good environment for learning – not an ideal environment (fear is not known for its abundance of patience) – but a good environment nonetheless.

Energy, clarity of mind, and ability to focus are excellent tools for learning.

With enough work (doing), we will eventually – without even thinking about it – use fear as the energy to do our best. In the interim – as we break the habit of thinking this energy is a reason not to do anything new – the suggestion is: feel the fear and do it anyway.

Once you know something is not physically dangerous, go ahead and do the thing. It may feel uncomfortable (count on it), but keep moving one step after another in the direction of doing it.

As you move – as you use it – the energy will transform from barrier to blessing. You’ll have energy, not limitation.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway reprograms our attitude from, “Fear means, `Don’t'” to “Fear means, `All systems go!'”

Start today to learn how to use ALL your energies for transformation and empowerment by requesting your Introductory Consultation .