Energizing For Personal Success – Part 2
I’m going to get you start with a quote:
“All we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” – Charles Kingsley
In Energizing For Personal Success – Part 1 we laid the foundation of “enthusing” and to “enthuse” someone means to make someone enthusiastic about something, i.e. going after their personal goals. The act of enthusing involves “energizing” the moment and the recipient. Enthusiasm comes from within, and actually its’ root mean “Spirit within.”
Today we’ll finish up with going deeper into “The Two Stages” and how else you can energize yourself and others to hit personal goals and reach personal success.
As a reminder, for the purpose of this article we’ll call you the “Energizer” (we’ll leave off “bunny” to help you save face) and the individual you engage with the “Target.”
The Energizer and the Source
The technique of enthusing is fundamental to your relationship because without it you can’t create the momentum to help move the Target.” into action toward their personal goal. As with all aspects of energizing, it has to be authentic to your personality.
It needs to come from a strong desire to see the Target.” at their best and from the joy you receive in their personal success. If you believe that the Target’s personal success is your success, then enthusing them into action becomes easy.
When you enthuse, you make an emotional connection with the Target. The Target “feels” your enthusiasm as much as they respond to your actual words. If you think of positive energy as a fuel that powers movement, enthusing could be described as giving the Target a “top up” of enough positive energy to help them move into action. Some examples of language that can be used to enthuse the Target are:
- I know you can do this!
- This is exciting, isn’t it?
- You’re capable of so much more than that!
- You’re going to feel great when you hit your personal goal aren’t you?
- You’ve got what it takes!
- I’m so excited by this decision!
- Let me acknowledge how powerful you are!
Infectious Enthusiasm
Did you know that enthusiasm is infectious?
Positive energy builds on positive energy until positive action becomes irresistible. The more you enthuse the Target, the more they will feel positive and the easier they will become to enthuse. They’ll then go out into the world able to enthuse others into supporting them in their quest of personal goals and personal success.
Their success will feed your success, thus building up your stocks of energy. Enthusing really is a powerful gift to give and will really empower people. For the Target you, the Energizer may be the only person standing on the sidelines cheering them along, supporting them. So as the Energizer think of yourself as the sources cheer squad.
Go – Go – Go!
Contemplation
- How would your life be different today, if people around you enthused you instead of got angry at you for everything they wanted?
- How do you enthuse and energies yourself when things are tough?
Application
Making Others Change – Sometimes people accept change with reluctance. Other times they welcome it with open arms. The more willingly we embrace change, the more likely that we can shape it to meet our needs instead of being overwhelmed by it.
The old adage that people have to “want to change” before they really can, is very true. Trying to force another person to change is almost never successful and never long-lasting.
A common method people use to force someone to change their way – or make a shift – is to imply that they are bad or wrong. “This isn’t right, why can’t you do it this way?”
Often this is done in a subtle way. Simply questioning their choice in a particular tone of voice can be enough to make someone question their judgment and defer to our judgment. As a coach I believe that my client’s are the expert in their lives. I want them and encourage them to exercise their intuitive judgment and not to rely on me.
Another way people try to bring about change is to revert to coercion; pressuring or even threatening others to get something done…kind of like a bad boss. Some people believe that coercing others is a sign of strength or even confidence.
Nothing could be further from the truth. If we are secure and confident in our own lives, we are able to allow others to make their own choices. Our self-worth is not caught up in making others do what we want, even if we think it is in their best interests.
Yet another way people try to make someone change is the “guilt trip”, making someone feel guilty for not acting in a particular way…you know, like mom did :-). “If you don’t do it this way, something bad will happen and it will be your fault.”
This is perhaps the most damaging of all because it sacrifices a person’s all-important sense of self for little gain. The person may be motivated by guilt to achieve a small goal, but the damage to their confidence or self-esteem will prevent them from coping with the substantial or important challenges in their life.
These techniques all work occasionally to bring about change in others but only in the short-term. None of them assist people to make meaningful or long-term changes in their lives.
Generally they will lead to enough superficial change to get the other person off their back before they default back to their previous behavior. All of them disempower and deskill the other person in managing their own lives and going after their personal goals, the very opposite of what I want my coaching relationship to achieve!!
When we think a person needs to change, particularly if you are helping them, and they seem unenthusiastic, we are no longer assisting the person but controlling them. Moving away from trying to change someone to energizing them creates a shift in energy towards the individual. This shift will assist them in moving towards their personal goals and personal success.
Practicing Enthusing
To enthuse is to energize the person to take that important step in the direction they are envisioning their life will go. Here are some examples of when the enthusing can be helpful:
- A person is afraid to change jobs.
- A person is unable to speak their truth.
- A person is not feeling supported in their relationships.
- A person is holding himself or herself back from doing something that would bring them great joy.
- A person is afraid to stand up to someone who is manipulating or dominating them.
As a coach I try to “energize” or enthuse my clients to take action to bring about changes in their lives for the better. You too can support people to shift to a place of positive energy so that they can go confidently in the direction of their personal goal and personal success.
Reflection
- Can you think of an example of when someone has tried one of the negative techniques to get you to change?
- How successful were they?
- What are some other areas you can think of where clients can benefit from the technique of enthusing?
And I’d like to finish with a quote:
“Great passions may give us a quickened sense of life, ecstasy and sorrow of love, the various forms of enthusiastic activity, disinterested or otherwise, which comes naturally to many of us.” – Walter Pater
Now it’s your turn, please tell me…how to you enthuse yourself and others? What are your tips and tricks? Share them in the comments below.
