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Mental Strength

03/05/2013

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Emotions: Reacting or Responding It’s Your Choice

You have your day all planned out.  You get up, you choose what you are going to wear, what you are going to have for breakfast, what time you have to leave if you are going somewhere, what route you will take, you have your E.T.A., you know what is intended for your day and  you are off and away.

Then… maybe before you even leave the house things change and with that, your customary way of being shifts as well, just like that.

It’s like one moment you are traveling along a beautiful country road, the sun is shining, and you’re enjoying the scenery and fresh air. Perhaps you are listening to or singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite song, or having a great conversation with someone.

In what seems like in a blink of your eye, something/someone shifts that pleasant mood.

You find yourself detouring off this peaceful joyful road onto an emotional one you would rather not travel. But traveling you are, and perhaps even picking up some speed along the way.

I’m sure you have had a day or two like this.  I know I have.  All you want to do is quickly get back on that joyful drive, but somehow you can’t, at least not right away. You feel like you don’t have a choice.

Knowing that you have options on how to steer through your emotions helps when you are spinning out of control or squealing your tires.

People handle emotions differently.  What sets you off doesn’t necessarily have the same effect on someone else.

Some folks become overwhelmed. Their emotions seem to take over and they find themselves reacting. Feelings of hurt, anger, jealousy, unfairness, shame, guilt, and past resentments are now in the driver’s seat steering their way.

This is the path of ‘reacting.’  This is the unconsciousness way we reply to an event or circumstance.

Others avoid their feelings. Feelings, what feelings? They block them out, shut down, busy themselves, pretend everything is fine, and find as many detours as possible away from them.

And then others stop and consider the event and the most empowering way to reply.  This is the path of ‘responding.”

I’m sure you remember your mother telling you to count to 10 when you’re angry.  This a lot of power in this.  Those 10 seconds allow you to shift from ‘reaction’ to ‘responding.’

But really, there’s no right or wrong way of experiencing emotions, but there are choices. One is to become aware and understand those feelings when you’re stuck or even denying them.

When something or someone sets your emotions in motion, notice what the feelings are and how you are acting or reacting to the situation.

Once you determine what’s going on, you then can choose if you want to react or respond or even stay stuck, evade, or learn from them.

The choice is yours and yours alone.

If you elect exercise your mental strength and delve a little deeper, good for you. When you do, you will come to see these feelings aren’t so bad after all. In fact, they have a lot to teach you. How cool is that?

Emotions are like road signs showing you what’s happening along your journey.

Pointing out what needs a little construction on your continuing thoroughfare of life.

Look at the beliefs that are surfacing and resurfacing for you. Trust me, there will be at least one or two for you to ponder.

A belief towards a thought creates the emotion, or else it’s just a thought.

See if you can determine what the beliefs are within the emotion.

When you are clear about what they are then you can choose to work with them instead of allowing your emotions to take over the navigating. This only adds more stress, or weaving in and out trying to elude them only to find they are around the next corner.

Then you are in a better position to choose to believe differently, do differently, respond differently, etc.

Remember, your emotions are like a road under construction; when you work on them, it makes for a much more enjoyable journey.

Use the insights and techniques in Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior to assist assists you in seeing what your emotions are showing you and what choices they are offering.

You are your biggest supporter.

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