Acknowledging for Personal Growth – Part II

In Acknowledging for Personal Growth – Part I, I discussed the difference between acknowledging and encouraging as well as when we acknowledge others we are also recognizing that which is in ourselves.

Before I move on to Part II and other aspects of acknowledging, I’d like to thank my coaching school, ICA, for the support and much of the information about ‘Acknowledging.’

Celebration

Celebrating means giving yourself permission to stop for a moment and enjoy what you already have accomplished. It provides the opportunity to stop and take a look back in time and savor the moment. It also provides a chance to review what worked and what did not work. What you want to do more of in your life and what actions you will not repeat in the future. This is a time to acknowledge your achievement and personal success and to celebrate them.

Many of us are not in the habit of celebrating…at least, not the small things in life. Most people usually celebrate special events and major accomplishments. However, it is worth celebrating the small steps along the way that help us reach our major personal goals in life. Celebration is important because it gives us time to reflect on our accomplishments, our personal performance and to acknowledge our achievements; this in turn provides a sense of personal growth.

The art of celebrating also provides the opportunity for others the chance to participate in you personal performance, and allowing them to acknowledge us for what we have done. It also provides an opportunity for us to acknowledge the people in our lives who have supported and assisted us in reaching our personal goals and dreams. Hardly ever does anyone achieve something by themselves. An all-important step in goal setting that is sometimes overlooked is the need for celebration. When setting goals, one of the most powerful questions to ask yourself is: “How will I celebrate the achievement of this particular goal?”

Creating structures for celebration builds in an automatic way to reward and reflect on the accomplishment(s). To support yourself, get into the habit of building in a structure for celebrating. This helps reinforce the concept of taking time to think about and enjoy the progress.

Ways that we can celebrate:

• Buy something special, like one beautiful rose or some rich chocolate or a new power tool (that was for the guys)
• Indulge in a treat that you have not experienced in a long time.
• Take a bubble bath while sipping a favorite beverage…yes guys…you should try this too!
• Get a massage at a local spa.
• Take a trip to a favorite place.
• Keep a gratitude journal.

Ways that we can celebrate in a work environment:

• Take the team to see a sporting event.
• Host a team building exercise
• Keep a gratitude list on the lunch room wall
• Make celebration a permanent agenda item for meetings.
• Start with celebration before launching into problems or challenges.
• Bring in some beautiful flowers to celebrate your success.

Celebration is so individual in its expression. Find out what it means to celebrate for each of your friends. What are they grateful for and how do they celebrate their achievements? Develop your own celebration list that will increase your sense of personal power and personal growth. This list can then serve as a way to create more celebrations as well as remove the overwhelming feeling from trying to think of something immediately.

Contemplation

• What difference would it make in your life, over the next five years, if you received 50 percent more acknowledgment than you do today?
• Think of a time in your life when you have been acknowledged for your personal performance…no matter the outcome, how did it make you feel?
• Describe what life feels like when we make efforts without acknowledgment?
• What can you celebrate right now?

Application

In my personal coaching, acknowledgment comes after my client’s have taken action. However acknowledgment is not just about the action, it is about who my client’s are ‘being’ while they are taking action. I acknowledge my client’s for their values and their purpose and not just their activity. I cheer them on, support them to take the next step with courage and mental strength, and help them to see what they did to get their results.

I don’t always acknowledge what is “successful.” Many times some of the best lessons come from what did not work out well, when it did not turn out to be exactly the way my client’s wanted it. As a personal coach, I then acknowledge what action they took, what lessons were learned and how it will now support them in their personal growth and personal development. This means that I acknowledge all the steps my client’s make from beginning to end.

As a point of reference, it’s important when acknowledging someone, to avoid the word “but” after saying something wonderful to them. For example, “that was great, but…” The word “but” in a sentence has a tendency to negate what was said before it.

When acknowledging, I want my client’s to feel good about what they did even if it did not produce the desired result. I emphasize the experience to learn from it in order to grow and improve upon it next time.

Remember, this is a process and not everyone is going to go out and get it right the first time. It takes time and this is why acknowledgment is so important because it supports others to learn and develop further. For me, it helps my client’s understand what aspects of what they did worked.

Holding a Vision

Part of holding a vision is also reminding my client’s of how far they have come. A powerful strategy I use for holding their vision is to have them look into their past to recall experiences they have had which seemed impossible but became possible. When we hold a vision for our clients we say things like:

• What evidence do you have to prove to yourself that you can do this?
• Tell me what happened when you were challenged with reaching for your personal goals (that they achieved)?

As a life coach, I help turn my client’s vision into reality, their dreams into an achievement and their personal goals into an accomplishment. Encouragement leads them to persistence and attainment.

You also can “coach” effectively by just using acknowledgement, encouragement, and celebration. If you simply help someone see and appreciate their strengths you will empower them to do better and reach for their own peak performance. If you acknowledge them when they are operating at their best, then you allow their “best self” to grow. When you encourage them at moments of self-doubt you will drive this doubt away. To focus on what is good in their life right now and what they are doing right will often produce significant results irrespective of other techniques.

Reflection

• What would your life look like if you acknowledge yourself more often?
• What would other’s lives look like if you acknowledge them more often?

References

Angier, Michael, 2006, Self Improvement and Motivation, SuccessNet.org

Kegan, Robert and Lahey, Lisa, 2001, How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco

If you’d like to additional information on improving your mindset, confidence and personal performance grab a copy of, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” now.  It will affect the way you think and act, so that you can live up to your ultimate personal power!

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Please let me know your thoughts and how you have used ‘acknowledging’ in the comments below

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